Posted by lucky_1 on Thu 2 Nov 06, 7:58 PM to lucky_1's blog.
Abuse that is.
What is abuse? What is abuse to one is sheer bliss to another. Definitions change with time, partners and I dare say experience.
I would say I had once been the victim of abuse. A non consensual act that could have put me in grave danger. So what did I do about it? Not a lot if I am honest. What were my choices? Could I have gone to the police? I suppose I could but then I didn't really want to explain quite what I was doing in head to toe bondage at the time. So I just made sure I never got into that situation ever again. The trust was blown, big time.
Another choice would have been to do the name and shame thing. It's not something I agree with though. If you go back and read the first paragraph, what is abuse to one is sheer bliss to another. That particular act I would have no problem with capi or J doing right now if they chose. See what I mean?
Where genuine abuses exist that go well beyond what we choose to do then I have every sympathy and I fully understand that it is difficult to go to the police. I can understand why some would wish to do something other than take formal action.
I always think that the naming and shaming somewhere like this is taking the cowards way out too. You can write what you like, hint around it. "Oh it was terrible, horrific, Bastard! How could he, he should be banned, no hung drawn and quartered" It's easy to garner support because it is such an emotive subject. It is seldom defended either.
This is where I have a slight problem with "naming and shaming" There is no burden of proof, there is no "beyond reasonable doubt" That is what you get when you apply the law. All you are left with is a ruined reputation, whether is is deserved or not.
Ultimately it is our own decision to meet, to play, to do whatever we want. Nobody made you open the door. Take some responsibility for what we do. It is not always down to the Dominant to take all the responsibility. I can sympathise with Dominants on this one, especially the nurturing Dominants. They want to make things better for their charges and sometimes attract the broken birds who are unfortunately destined to remain broken because they really don't want to be fixed. They are then wide open to the claims of abuse.
It's too easy for some. And that is sad because it reflects badly on the genuine abuses that undoubtedly do occur.
lucky
