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7 Jan 2009, 9:41 PM GMT

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IC : Weblogs : Space_Pony : "stuck ......"

stuck ...... (1)

Space_Pony's profile

Posted by Space_Pony on Thu 2 Nov 06, 11:14 AM

miserable depressed , alone again , saying things sometimes doesnt help at all . i say too much or to the wrong people and doors slam in my face again , shutting me off, closing me into my prison again .

its shit being the victim and i'm trying to overcome it thru therapy at the hospital but its hard work. lots of emotion is released by revisiting the traumas in my mind, the horrible images flood my mind. I see it all as if it were as now again , over and over , everytime i close my eyes , everytime something triggers me into remebering. The dreams invade my sleep and reprocess the trapped trauma in a subconious way and the images and tears during waking hours reprocess the consious part.

i got stuck part way thru an issue in last weeks session , when it finished before i had. the therapist said i would have to carry on at it this week , but she was ill and so no session , so i'm stuck! arghhhhhhhhh

i'll get another appointment thru when shes well again , but i dont know how long that will be.

its taken me over a year to face doing the therapy and now i've had two sessions i can feel the benefits but i relaise i have lots more to do before i'm sorted.

Talking about it is helping and writing blogs (as long as i dont say too much and upset everyone) , seems to as well. And as friends have relaised my situation some postive help has been forecoming so theres hope yet !

Replies

2 Nov 06, 2:53 PM travelling_man 3 yrs

space_pony wrote: Talking about it is helping and writing blogs (as long as i dont say too much and upset everyone) , seems to as well. Don't let upsetting others stop your healing, it's their weakness that they can't face what is happening to you. However, if this place is too close to some of your problems, then you could blog them on another site such as myspace or blogger.com. You could tell those you trust where you are posting, and it would avoid stirring up pain with those who you'd rather not know.