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| SnowdropExplodes |
on Sun 15 Oct 06, 1:45 AM to SnowdropExplodes's blog.
A few months ago I got into a M/s relationship with a woman, which lasted about a month because we'd known in advance it would not be long-term, and I took the role effectively of her trainer. After she moved on to someone who was a better fit, we stayed in touch, and she looked to me as mentor.
About a month ago, things started to get really bad for her. She was entering into an episode of mental illness, something I'd known she suffered from before, but that I did not fully understand at the time.
It has got very bad for her, and the Master whom she had found has done a runner (she is resentful, but I can understand why he might do, given how severe her symptoms actually are - something she had hidden from me at the time of his departure). I, on the other hand, have stuck by her.
While not wanting to fall into the trap of playing the "Healer Dom" psychological "game" (using the term "game" in the technical sense used by some forms of counselling), I have made her my slave again in the belief that this will have two beneficial effects. Firstly, I hope that it provides her with stability in a world that for her is lacking stability - there will be a point of constancy on which she can depend (my ownership/care/command of her). Secondly, I hope that it will enable me to influence her towards more healthy ways of behaving, and give her a focus for her self-control, on which she can build using the talk therapies offered by her doctors.
I have been in contact with her several times a day through this trying period, and have been able to follow how her mood has changed; I do think I am helping (the medical treatments I am sure are also taking effect). Today she told me that she didn't know how she would have made it this far if I hadn't been there for her.
If anyone else has supported a slave or submissive through a difficult time, whether using D/s as a tool or not, I'd appreciate memos or posts.
Also, hugs and general words of support much appreciated
| 15 Oct 06, 12:17 PM Sweetiejar UK(S), 11 yrs |
Good for you that you didnt abandon her. xxxxxxxxx Sweetiejar |
| 19 Oct 06, 5:14 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
Not to negate your efforts here, but you don't know what you're dealing with here and there is significant potential that this will blow up in your and/or her face. This is simply too risky. It sounds like you are exhibiting codependent forms of behaviour and whether it appears like you are helping her, you are more than likely damaging yourself in the process. I don't want to be a doomsayer, just a realist. Get some serious advice from a qualified professional. There are a few BDSM sensitive counsellors out there. |
| 31 Mar 07, 10:39 AM x_Red_x 6 yrs |
There is a word you need to look up, preferably in a psych 101 text book. It's called TRANSFERANCE. It means she clings to you because you take part in a healing process. It's ethically wrong to manipulate such a situation and if you were a trained psychologist or psychiatrist what you are doing with this girl would get you struck off. Fortunately you're neither of those. Unfortunately for this girl, however, you're neither of those. The saying goes a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing. As a trained psychologist I *SERIOUSLY* suggest you let the professionals deal with her head, and you just stick to being her friend. The only thing you can do here is damage by not knowing what the fuck you're doing in the first place. It's one thing to offer support, it's another to take part in the therapy. Red |
