This post is on the SM/Bondage/Fetish web board.
| 15 Oct 06, 11:40 PM Iudicare UK(TW), 8 yrs  |
Clearly the Dom was wrong. It was just using the master slave relationship as a cloak for revenge.
If the Dom had wanted to continue the relationship then the sub could have been given the choice either to accept a punishment or walk out of the Dungeon door. This Dom sounds weak, jealous and possessive and acting out of hurt. Of course there are Doms who want absolute control and power. But they, too, are weak. There is no such thing as power in a vacuum. As far as I am concerned any slave.Dom contract carries within it that either party can withdraw at any time. To say: You've got to do what I say because I'm in charge is just playground bully stuff. But of course everyting here is very open to be corrupted. | ||
| 16 Oct 06, 12:25 AM Chastiser UK, 12 yrs |
i would say the doms behaviour was wrong. not perhaps for the reasons everyone else has given though. a posession that moves itself outside of the sphere of ownership, due to its behaviour is not really worth such an effort. by stepping outside the boundaries of the relationship, then the right to belong to such has been relinquished. For me, i would be dissapointed in such behaviour; uncollar the posession and forget all about it. once something has been tainted, tis best to wipe it off ya shoe and move on. Mike Let Me unchain your mind and your sexuality will follow. | ||
| 16 Oct 06, 9:53 AM Katheryn UK(SG), 11 yrs  |
Interesting views  It was in fact a Domme and her then male sub. Me? I think she was flat wrong to behave the way she did. SM 101 says that you never play in anger. Never. If you can't control yourself, what hope have you of ever controlling someone else. Never use SM as a a 'real' punishment. For that was what this was. The man wasn't a chattel, a possession, he was simply a man who made a mistake. At the time, I remember asking her why she hadn't just talked to him rather than beat him up. 'Because he wouldn't have stayed for the discussion, so I had to tie him up to make sure he stayed'. Perhaps he knew he would get the crap beaten out of him. As it was, he didn't get the chance to make an informed decision, he was lured to the dungeon under the false pretence of a normal play session. If you're going to use SM as a punishment for something like play infidelity (not sexual infidelity) then at least discuss it, keep it controlled and for gods sake use your head before using your fists. Never wrestle with pigs. You both get filthy, but the pig loves it. | ||
| 16 Oct 06, 10:11 AM Romola UK, 7 yrs |
A film called 'Kate Beckinsale jumps off some buildings in a leather corset' consisting of just that for 90 minutes would have had a better plot, more wit and better dialogue than 'Underworld'. Even if all she said was 'umf!' when she landed. LNC: you're either in, or you're a cunt. | ||
| 16 Oct 06, 10:24 AM Backdooruk UK(BA), 12 yrs |
Actually the disturbing thing to me is that, in the way you portray this, it seems like she was in control. Indeed it sounds like she would do the same thing again. I find violence delivered with cold premeditation far more creepy than that delivered in the heat of the moment. - Chris Old member names: Backdoor, 1999-2002; Notvelvet, 2003-2004; Thought, 2004-2005. | ||
| 16 Oct 06, 2:17 PM MKane 9 yrs |
Was your OP intentionally worded to give the impression (or assumption) that it was about a Male Dom and femsub.... or was that just peoples preconceptions at work? I notice that the majority of the replies agree that the Dom was out-of-order, abusive, unacceptable, etc. but yet I wonder how the replies would have been if you had made it more clear initially that the story was a FemDomme/malesub. Do you think people would have different views and generally been less judgemental of a FemDomme to punish a malesub in that way? --------------------------------------------------- - Edited 16 Oct 06, 4:02 PM by MKane | ||
| 16 Oct 06, 5:20 PM The_Dungeoneers UK(NR), 5 yrs |
Very nicely done - I noted the careful absence of gender specific reference in your original account and did wonder. As you say - interesting views.
I guess that says it all really. I have no knowledge of the situation other than what has been posted so my comments are purely based upon that. Physical assault (aggravated if implements were employed), indecent assault if certain areas were touched and unlawful detention - quite enough for a reasonable length custodial sentence - even for a first offender. Vengeance is a heady and poisonous brew - the thirst for it often causing massive perceptual distortion. Anger likewise. Chris mentioned rape in an earlier post - there is a rapist 'type' whos behaviour is triggered by 'affect' - most typically rage, an extreme anger response. Within the fire of rage both sense and sensibilities are often consumed for the duration of the 'burn' - although, with the exception of those possessed of low empathic concern, they will arise, phoenix like from the ashes, often giving rise to feelings of guilt and remorse. If one were to extend a line between the cold deliberation of the clinical sadist and the white heat of rage then it may be argued that what is perceived as 'vengeance' falls somewhere between the two. It has been described as the residue left after the anger has cooled to a degree - full on anger being very difficult to maintain for more than twenty minutes - after that, if unresolved, it can mutate into things like resentment and/or depression etc. Even if not directly visible to ones peers, secret guilt, remorse, resentment, depression, reduction in self esteem et al., are not pleasant companions. Unresolved they niggle away at the psyche, constantly demanding attention like needy children. Further bursts of anger will often silence their chatter for a brief moment but each time they not only return but their numbers have increased. This is where vengeance comes into its own. It may be likened to an inappropriate inner baby sitter - dark and brooding it begins to fill the space around those other needy feelings, quietening them with the promise of 'a treat to come' and easing the individuals 'felt' pain at that time. It is however a maladapted coping stratagy, for not only does it repress the negative feelings it is indiscriminate and ultimately represses the good stuff too. This is not a good thing - plus it can give rise to a psychological 'pressure cooker' effect which may then result in irrational, possibly extreme, behaviour. (For those of an enquiring mind this point can be illustrated by filling a pressure cooker with water, sealing the release valve, place on a high heat, proceed to the nextdoor neighbours house and listen.) From the account posted it sounds as though the incident was vengeance driven and the dom in question may have much deeper issues - certainly there seems to be a level of blurring between the concepts of justice and revenge - but of course this is not uncommon in human beings. A case of 'check the rear view mirror for oncoming motive before moving off' perhaps. Laurence . Edited 16 Oct 06, 5:23 PM by The_Dungeoneers | ||
| 16 Oct 06, 5:25 PM northernwench 7 yrs |
I'm one of them
Ring ring | ||
| 16 Oct 06, 5:33 PM Mel_SnM UK(BA), 7 yrs |
 oh do shut up - write a letter to santa clause - he may give a shit... | ||
| 16 Oct 06, 5:38 PM little_miss_trouble 6 yrs |
I have been in the situation where I have been told that I have no hard limits, but being the stubborn cow I am, I got my point across that I would only do things I am comfortable with, as I know there is a fine line between domming and bullying for some Doms. I wear my bruises with pride, but that is because I have submitted to the Dom/Domme in question, but I will not allow myself to be fearful or scared of what I am doing |
