Posted by Matou on Sun 4 Jan 04, 5:38 AM to Matou's blog.
I don't think that MKane has been entirely fair to the process we understand as “Evolution”. I wonder if he would examine all of Nature's failures and oddities and shake his head sadly, tut-tutting, “Evolution, eh?”
The tsetse fly is one creature that apparently serves no purpose other than to spread sleeping sickness but Nature sees fit to grant it a place in the great scheme of things. If asked, it probably wouldn't think much of us either, except as hosts of course.
Examining only one aspect of things and drawing conclusions is not the holistic approach evolution deserves. So let me attempt to examine the other side of his observations. Overall there is nothing new about them, nothing that didn't exist prior to the internet.
Is there a risk of people becoming one-dimensional so that they are unable to function and converse on any other level? Certainly, there is – just as there are some people who are unable to converse about anything that doesn't involve football. I recall being considered 'weird' because I have a hatred of it. After all, I am male and British, ergo I *must* like football – mustn't I? The same applies to anyone who is obsessive about trainspotting, or cars, or stamps, or fashion … or whatever. It is a human thing and nothing to do with the Internet or BDSM.
I can't say I have noticed people who live together posting weblogs to each other – but so what if they do? Is that any different from the people who put birthday wishes in newspapers or big banners up on traffic islands wishing Granny Shufflebottom happy birthday? The majority of drivers negotiating that island won't have a clue who Granny is but they don't moan about it – well, maybe MKane does. In either case, if it makes them feel better then good luck to them.
Certainly there are people who are self-styled oracles who will speak patronisingly of the foibles of others, perusing their weblogs with an air of.... interest? amusement? mirth? despair? (Oops, I just had a déjà vu experience.) Well such people occur in real life, too, both in and out of the Scene. I doubt that any of us will have to think very hard before we can come up with several. Now counterbalance that with the people who use their own time, effort and money to produce web sites, elists, chat rooms and so on where information can be disseminated, argued over and learned from. Try doing that without the Internet – or its ancestor, a BBS. As to having problems in their own lives – well, I knew a couple who were attending sessions with Relate (an agency set up to help couples avoid divorce) – their counsellor was awaiting her decree absolute. To borrow an Americanism from cerrynn, “Go figure”. “Or lifestyle slaves…”/ “Or guys who pose as Doms…”/ “Or the egotistical (insecure) Doms…” – yes, we all know people who fit these descriptions but guess what, this is the human condition. It is no effort to translate these people across to the “real life friends” that MKane seems to regard so highly – and people like this have been around as long as the word hypocrite has – that is how the word arose, from a need to describe such people.
So some people use their weblogs as a diary? They aren't harming anyone. In many cases they are witty and entertaining (subsumed's “Fisting” log still makes me laugh) and sometimes inspirational in describing people soldiering on in the face of great adversity. So they get support from other bloggers in times of crisis – sounds like a good thing to me. I assume that MKane is suggesting that friends on the Internet aren't *really* friends at all, that somehow friends made via the Internet aren't worth as much as “real life ones”.
Well, here's a true story of one of those “sad cases”. About four years ago, members of a chat room I used to frequent noticed that someone hadn't been around when they said they would be. To abbreviate the story, a chain of concerned 'contacts' bounced around the Internet all over the U.S. until someone realised that they lived not far from this person. They visited with the emergency services and discovered he had had an epileptic seizure and died from hitting his head on a washbasin. He had a life away from the Internet and real life friends too but it was his cyber friends who got off their butts and did something. Cyber friends worth less than r/l ones? I - don't - think - so. Many of the people cerrynn and I are privileged to call friends have become so as a result of their weblogs.
People pretending to be something they aren't. Hmmm, I don't think that is new either. Nor is the concept of people preying on the weaknesses of others. How about the relic sellers of Medieval times – I would assume that is far enough pre-Internet to qualify.
MKane's comments regarding the “Old Guard's” disuse of chat rooms and clubs made me smile. Given the time that it arose, most of the founder members would be in their dotage by now. Perhaps the old folk's homes don't allow access to Internet BDSM chat rooms or the clubs have a “No Zimmer Frames” policy. To be fair, I am doing him a disservice because he probably means those who came along later but picked up the Old Guard's traditions. A sort of “New Old Guard”? Might I also point out that the original Old Guard were already splintering into distinct groups as early as the late 1960's and early 70's, way before the Internet became popular. People took what they wanted from the original traditions and added or changed things as they liked and set up their own traditions. Guess what, the originators didn't like that. So no change now from what happened then.
Yes, there are groups who seek to maintain the standards and traditions of the original Old Guard and Leathermen – very laudable – but there is no inherent “purity” or “value” in a concept simply because it was the first or it has been around for a long time. Arranged marriages have been around for centuries but I dread to think whom I might have been married to if it were the norm in 20th century Britain. No, that is one tradition I can do without, thank you very much.
“Wannabes”? We are *all* wannabes at some point. The Internet helped me change from a “wanna” to a “doer” and I am hardly alone there.
MKane's comment about clubs being taken over by 'these whining attention-seeking players who change every definition to mean "whatever we want it to mean"' is just downright offensive. He has his right to his opinion and me to mine and when I hear the lovely, well- behaved, courteous people who attend Velvet Eden and similar venues described as 'whining attention-seeking players' my blood boils somewhat.
Considering “recurrent themes”, MKane seems to have one with “definitions”. As far as I am aware there is no authority recognised as the purveyor of definitions to our community. Where do definitions come from anyway? From custom and usage – ergo, they are subject to change. Definitions are part of language and we all know from Shakespeare and Chaucer that language forms and meanings change with time and the changes in society. Definitions in science change on almost a daily basis as our knowledge grows. Any regular readers of the weblogs of cerrynn and myself will be aware that we frequently refer to “our BDSM”, i.e. what our interpretation and definitions mean to us. If you have a problem with that, MKane, do please remember that it's your problem, not ours. If you want to be hidebound, that's fine. I'm sorry, that is harsh – to rephrase, if you want to live by the original concepts of the Old Guard, that's fine. We are happy with the Scene as we know it, both online and off – it would seem that you are the one who is not.
Buzzwords …. We don't have them in real, non-Internet vanilla life? We don't have r/l people using buzzwords to cover the fact that they don't know what they are talking about, etc, etc? I must have been wrong about politicians all these years.
The Internet is like a gun. It doesn't hurt anyone – it merely enables people to hurt others. As ShadowRose said, people are the problem. There are good people and bad people online, just as there are offline. The Internet may enable people to hurt others but it also enables people to do great good. I have certainly benefited from it. Before condemning the “evolution” of BDSM via the Internet, stop and wonder where BDSM would be now, without it. By his own statement, MKane would probably still be alone in his own private Scene. Maybe he would be happy there instead of the desperate cynic he appears to be.
Matou
Edited Sun 4 Jan 04, 5:42 AM by Matou
