Posted by Matou on Mon 3 Mar 03, 4:19 AM to Matou's blog.
There have been some wonderful weblogs recently, some funny, some sad, some entertaining and some moving.
Not the least of the latter variety being that of my own cerrynn on the subject of collars. That produced an altogether un-Domly response which I am going to blame on my streaming eyes and swollen throat (I am just getting over viral 'flu or something similar). However, there was another set of logs that touched both cerrynn and I deeply – the latest weblogs from Master Nagus and slave nagus, describing the BBB weekend. In these logs they both described a major change in their D/s relationship, perhaps a deepening and strengthening of that relationship. They are unsure of what it means right now but we do hope they will write more logs as they find their way. They also said that this happened all over one weekend. I wonder how many of us have such a time in our memories? A particular event which was a major milestone or turning point in our D/s lifestyle?
Having posed the question to myself I sought such an event in *our* D/s relationship. I cannot say that I found such a profound turning point as Master N and slave n describe but it was nevertheless a pleasurable trip down memory lane: I am pleased to say that cerrynn and I have had many magical moments where our relationship has shifted yet another gear. If I had to pick one particular occasion it would have to be a workshop on “Edge Play” provided by Duty Bound last year (no, I am not on commission!). This was a terrific experience and cerrynn and I came away with new skills and awareness but more importantly a set of tools which have opened new doors through which we continue to explore “our BDSM”. I don't think we realised at the time what a profound effect it was to have on us in the coming months.
“Breath play” is one of those bright shiny new tools, one which we have taken to like the proverbial duck to water. Why is harder to articulate. Perhaps if I describe a “typical” scene (if there is such a thing) from my point of view it may help.
I lie on my side, my body supported on my elbow as I look down on cerrynn's face, her hair a dark halo on the pillow, her face a pale smudge in the dim light. That matters not, I know that face so well I can see those eyes with my own eyes firmly shut. “The eyes are the window to the soul,” they say, cerrynn's are windows to her submission, windows transparent only to me and I could spend hours looking through them. My free hand reaches out and strokes her cheek gently, so very gently. I bend my head down to her face and her lips open, ready to be kissed. I whisper, “Ai shiteru,” and I am rewarded by an intake of breath – she knows, she knows what is coming next but she has no time to say anything before my lips seal themselves to hers. As my cheek moves to block her nose her fate is also sealed: she knows that she must allow me to breathe for her. Her relaxation must be total. My lungs breathe in and suck the air from hers, then breathe out and fill hers; we are sharing the same air. There is always a momentary panic, as she has to relax and adjust to a different breathing pattern. Then I feel her “acceptance” of my control, her willing acceptance. As I feel the carbon dioxide increasing I draw in fresh air and share it with her, keeping the rhythm as smooth and continuous as I can. At any time she could stop my control by simply moving her head but she doesn't. As long as I keep her supplied with enough oxygen to keep the autonomic responses at bay she is mine completely, locked in a D/s dance, action matching action. When I release her there is another fleeting moment of panic as her lungs take back control and then she hugs me so very tightly, as if she never wants to let go. I can feel her body trembling with passion as she asks for permission. My whispered, “Yes, pet” releases that passion, intensely, violently, wonderfully.
I don't think my limited literary talents can do any better than that.
Matou
Edited Mon 3 Mar 03, 4:25 AM by Matou
