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alexandraa
Posted by alexandraa on Mon 9 Oct 06, 7:51 PM

Yes I am a sado-masochist. I spent my formative years hiding my sexuality. That disgusts me when I look at it, and when I think the current government wants to introduce yet more laws to restrict our lives. How dare anyone restrict our free choice of sexuality? How dare they? Please explain this to me because I cannot grasp why.

I have not been beaten, abused, raped, treated badly or any such thing. Nothing good nor bad has made me this way. I am this way sexually because I am. Just as a man or woman who is homosexual is that way because they are.

I am simply an adult whose passions lie at the extreme end of the scale. Soft and gentle sex is a reasonable outlet for desire but for me, my blood runs hot and my passions are violent when it comes to sex.

I want to feel a man's hands on my body, hard and strong. I want to feel him take me and use me. I want to scream with pleasure as our desires meet in mutual appreciation. And yes, I want to feel his lash bite into me. No gentle caress will meet my needs.

Do you judge me for this? These extremes that I seek? Who do you know who has not had a bit of a spanking, a bite on their shoulder or neck, their wrists tied during sex? And if they have not felt it, who has not dreamt of it? Is it really so far from the “norm” to desire that harshness? To crave to feel erotic pain as your lover enters your body. To have your orgasms amplified to something you never hoped to experience? Beyond anything you could imagine?

This is my sexuality, me, how I am. How dare anyone seek to suppress my natural desires? It's not a fetish. I do not need pain to enjoy sex, I simply enjoy sex in this extreme form. A gentle touch needs to be a finger nail scraped down my skin. A hand caressing my face needs to be fingers digging in, accompanied with words like, “Tell me who owns you”.

I enjoy the dynamics of a 1950s marriage. I expect the man in my life to be in control, to make the decisions and provide me with clear and loving leadership. I expect, just as I give, absolute respect. I desire a relationship where there is a degree of formality, an expectation of acceptable behaviours. I have never been so treasured and nurtured in any other type of relationship. True power exchange can be a golden path to a fulfilling and profoundly spiritual relationship.

I enjoy seeing my partner's marks upon my body. From his hands and his teeth, through to his canes and his whip. It makes me feel beloved, wrapped and protected in his power and care. “Touch not this creature for she is marked and owned by me”, is what it can say and mean to us. How dare any law try to take that from us?

Where are we? Are we in 2006 or are we in some other world? Some past life or some frightening fantasy vision of the future to come? Leave us alone as we leave you alone. What do you fear that you seek to control and restrict our sexuality, our enjoyment of our own images and our freedom to express ourselves?


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