Replys to memo's (70)

You have found out,quite quickly,that the majority of [alleged] dommes & subs on IC ,do not reply to memoes.They have a whinmsical approach to such things and reply to comments such as yours with wholesome advice such as 'keep trying and ,attend munches and you will find someone' - as if.

But it is, none the less, worth persevering as 'the majority' are obviously not the very sizable minority who will respond to relevant, courteous and creative approaches.

We all make mistakes mind you. I for one have been guilty of overlooking extremely important points of clarification (age stipulations are a good example) when everything else about a profile has caught the imagination. I haven't stopped to look at the profile again. And again. And be sure there seems to be an interesting two way potential to explore.

Take some time to consider your approach. Consider yourself in the Domme's position. Try to think LIKE a Domme rather than ABOUT them. What would you respond well to? What would put you off? "Why is this person interested in me - they don't know any more about me than a few lines of text and a photo or two after all?"

Express a genuine interest in learning more.

Humour can work well, although it's also a gamble as your take on humour might be far removed from hers. If you are going to use it, direct it at yourself - but remain sure of yourself and your reason for making the approach.

Some other things to avoid:

* Constructing an approach that turns YOU on.

* Trying to make your approach appeal to everyone.

* Claim things without being able to prove them.

* Seek instant results (people are BUSY)

* Write an essay (people really are BUSY)

* Confuse or patronise.

At the end of the day - it IS worth it. Most of my own approaches have been ignored as well. But if you are prepared to work at it then you might be surprised at what you find.

"just how easy it is to please me"

Best advice on here, but listen to Fresher too.

Always be yourself, but remember that a Domme is a person too. And those few who express negativity and resentment will continue to put them off by doing so, so try to let the knock-backs roll off. As a writer, I've had my share of rejections slips and there is a knack to just letting it go.

Getting out in person to meet people can make all the difference too. On-line is basically impersonal.

Ariane

~ If a cat chases it, it's a cat toy. That includes fairies.

....words of wisdom are you an agony uncle in your day job?

Parato_Law wrote: ....words of wisdom are you an agony uncle in your day job?

Far from it Parato. More a distant, twice removed uncle to agony. And do you belive in Parato's law?

"just how easy it is to please me"

Fresher wrote: But it is, none the less, worth persevering as 'the majority' are obviously not the very sizable minority who will respond to relevant, courteous and creative approaches. We all make mistakes mind you. I for one have been guilty of overlooking extremely important points of clarification (age stipulations are a good example) when everything else about a profile has caught the imagination. I haven't stopped to look at the profile again. And again. And be sure there seems to be an interesting two way potential to explore. Take some time to consider your approach. Consider yourself in the Domme's position. Try to think LIKE a Domme rather than ABOUT them. What would you respond well to? What would put you off? "Why is this person interested in me - they don't know any more about me than a few lines of text and a photo or two after all?" Express a genuine interest in learning more. Humour can work well, although it's also a gamble as your take on humour might be far removed from hers. If you are going to use it, direct it at yourself - but remain sure of yourself and your reason for making the approach. Some other things to avoid: * Constructing an approach that turns YOU on. * Trying to make your approach appeal to everyone. * Claim things without being able to prove them. * Seek instant results (people are BUSY) * Write an essay (people really are BUSY) * Confuse or patronise. At the end of the day - it IS worth it. Most of my own approaches have been ignored as well. But if you are prepared to work at it then you might be surprised at what you find. Parato_Law wrote: ....words of wisdom are you an agony uncle in your day job? Far from it Parato. More a distant, twice removed uncle to agony. And do you belive in Parato's law?

of course

the top 20% of people in a business provide 80% of it's production/productivity/sales

parallels with the members of this site perhaps?

In an ideal world, everyone would respond, and everyone would be able to find a partner that fits both of their needs, there wouldn't be famine, war, sickness, or invasive government legislation either.

Ideal world aside, i think you'll find it much the same on any site, particularly any dating/personal/classifieds site - be it match.com, yahoo personals, IC, alt.com, bondage.com or any other site with a section set up for people to meet each other.

You can send one memo every year, or twenty memo's a day, but simply put, the chances of replies are slim. I won't say none, as that isn't true.

There are a number of reasons for this, and most have already been mentioned so I won't repeat it.

When in chat rooms, and someone comes in and says "i want to meet a Domme - what do i do?" (or words to that effect), I always have the same advice...

be patient, be yourself, be patient, get known, be patient, be patient, be polite, be patient.

It is purely a waiting game - the right person is out there somewhere. being yourself and being known helps increase the chances of meeting them, but patience is always going to be the key...

.

my stories at http://members.tripod.com/~oscagne whatever i say is my opinion, and mine alone. Leamington Spa munch details (next one in November 06) at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/leamingtonmunchand...

Hmmm - interesting if somewhat contentious. I'm certainly of the view that there exists a very sizable minority of positive, forward thinking and fun loving individuals on IC who provide the backbone to the site.

I certainly stand by my thoughts that the OP should try to identify and engage with such members and look at new ways of refining a more effective approach / communciation strategy...

"just how easy it is to please me"