Posted by domspaintoy
on Tue 26 Sep 06, 11:04 PM to domspaintoy's blog.
.. im finding im not the confident gal i thought i was, and im finding it hard to suss out why.
At uni today, it was the Eeeek! dreaded introduce yourself moment!
This woman stood up and gave off her intro to perfection, next came the gal in the middle and then the dark haired girl beside her and so on .. and so it progressed, by the time we had gotton to the gal beside me i was making eyes at Neil the lecturer, pleading eyes so he will bypass me altogether lol
Pah! Not a chance, He did however give me the time to compose myself and go around the rest of the class (17 of us in all) before resting his rather sexy eyes back on me ...
LOL!!
i managed my name before clamming up and pleading with Him not to ask me any more.
What gets me is when i am in my comfort zone i am supremely confident, loud, brash, cocky, funny, witty and charming but all it takes is to put me in a situation where i am going to have to reveal something about me and i become a shrinking violet, it doesnt make sense!
The other night, i had to beg Master not to make me call the pizza delivery place as its just something im not capable of doing in the confidence sense, but not only that it created in me a defense mechanism that neither of U/us liked, i became defensive, moody, sulky, arguementative and downright unpleasant which was something neither of U/us understood or enjoyed but also created a situation where i tried to goad Him into a negative response.
i am very lucky in the fact He has infinite patience and hasnt a violent/nasty bone in His body, but what is going on with me?! confident to nervous wreck, it doesnt make sense!
Sure i will find out the reasoning behind it sometime soon.
