Can There Be Submission Without Dominance? (3)

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alexandraa
Posted by alexandraa on Mon 25 Sep 06, 10:25 PM

Labels, not my favourite thing as my regular readers will know, but I do have definitions I apply to my own emotional relationships, and expectations that run alongside those definitions. To me submission and dominance are sides of a coin, equal and opposite, in balance and attuned. Sadism and masochism similarly so.

I feel submission most in those moments of quietness and peace, in the lull and the care. When he listens to me, hears my concerns, calms and supports me, gives me the emotional care I need. It is then I feel submission, feel his power around me wrapping and holding me. So safe, so protected. I feel awe, admiration and respect that knows no bounds. Worries swept away, decisions rightly sat with him. Every idiot concern of mine given attention and smoothed. Tools handed to me to solve my problems, guidance given, orders made where my stubbornness or fear would normally make me fail. Submission never so clear as when I do something I would normally shy from facing, then pleasure and pride when I can tell my dominant what I've done. Sounds silly and childish in some ways and yet who among us does not shy from tackling certain things?

It's a different feeling during SM play. My masochism will revel in his physical power. The submissive in me will feel small and powerless. When I'm pushed during play and revel in that mental and physical demand, what is it? Submission? Or masochism? Sadism on the part of the dominant and so masochism surely on my part? I feel submissive and yet thrill masochistically to each and every demand he makes. The masochist in me loves to hate things. The submissive in me wants to feel cared for and protected. What a fine line the dominant sadist has to tread in such moments. So easy to cross over and enter destructive and abusive play. Or is it? Does the masochist not welcome that even while the submissive is disgusted? It can be a dangerous complex game to play.

In truth it doesn't matter what you label it but for peace of mind and happiness balance matters to me. For each step I take in my submission I need a corresponding dominance, for each sadistic move, my masochism has to flex with joy within me. It's like a spinning top. Should any one side become too weighted the whole can crash to a halt.

I find with experience my expectations have become very high and my submission is not an easy thing to give. Which I believe is as it should be. There was a time, years ago, where I thought any old monkey calling himself dominant should be treated with respect. Not so. Respect where respect is due and submission only to a Dominant's corresponding care and protection. For when we give such submission are we not completely vulnerable? At the mercy of the person we give that to? So easy to be hurt, so open to abuse.

I can see the heady power a dominant must feel to have that person under their control, so willing, so loving, so ready and eager. A temptation and joy to behold I am sure. Yet with such submission comes responsibility surely? And here is where a real dominant will see their part of the bargain.

Submission is not there to be taken. Submission is there to be treasured, nurtured and protected. No relationship will work for long where there is taking without giving.

Balance in all things.

And a good beating and fucking never goes amiss of course, but then we must have cuddles and care.

Edited Mon 25 Sep 06, 10:26 PM by alexandraa

Replies

25 Sep 06, 10:33 PM
DiabolusExMachina
2 yrs
alexandraa wrote:

Balance in all things.

Yep, two sides of the coin connected by the outer rim.

26 Sep 06, 1:53 AM
dreams_f
UK, 8 yrs
alexandraa wrote:
Respect where respect is due and submission only to a Dominant's corresponding care and protection. For when we give such submission are we not completely vulnerable? At the mercy of the person we give that to? So easy to be hurt, so open to abuse.
I can see the heady power a dominant must feel to have that person under their control, so willing, so loving, so ready and eager. A temptation and joy to behold I am sure. Yet with such submission comes responsibility surely? And here is where a real dominant will see their part of the bargain.
Submission is not there to be taken. Submission is there to be treasured, nurtured and protected. No relationship will work for long where there is taking without giving.
Balance in all things.
And a good beating and fucking never goes amiss of course, but then we must have cuddles and care.
Hear Hear.. I love reading your blogs, full of wisdom and you say what i think but find troublesome to articulate.
peace d.
If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.

26 Sep 06, 7:01 AM
Moonbeam
3 yrs I can see the heady power a dominant must feel to have that person under their control, so willing, so loving, so ready and eager. A temptation and joy to behold I am sure. Yet with such submission comes responsibility surely? And here is where a real dominant will see their part of the bargain.
Submission is not there to be taken. Submission is there to be treasured, nurtured and protected. No relationship will work for long where there is taking without giving.
Balance in all things.
[/quote]
beautifully articulated as ever.
moon

Getting in touch with your true feeling is like learning to swim - once you have learned how to do it, you will never forget. Of course, if there are sharks around, knowing how to swim isn't going to help you much.


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