Single but still in love? (3)

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venus_flames
Posted by venus_flames on Sun 3 Sep 06, 9:33 AM

Since I have been on this site (which isn't very long) I have met some interesting, helpful and generally nice people. However... what is it with guys spending hours of time talking to you only to later divulge, although they are single, they are still addicted to their last partner or waiting in the wings for someone?

Is the fact really that these men are making excuses, for why if we did decide to meet up it couldn't lead to anything serious? Why start something with a cloud hanging over it? Why actually persue someone if you're already predesposed? (mentally or otherwise)If it is just sex that you want, then just say it. After all that does appear to be the motive to me. Actually, don't say it, just don't come here in the first place.

To say that after this happening now (4 times) I am getting a little frustrated with it, would be an understatement. I now find myself waiting to be told that they are mentally else where and not free to start something new.

As someone who is new to this scene and a complete novice in truth. No way, no how would I embark on an experience in either role of sub or dom without complete trust, respect and honour between myself and the other person. It appears, this is not likely to happen.

Has anyone else had a similar situation on here?

Replies

3 Sep 06, 10:42 AM
Litany
UK(E), 7 yrs
Yes, but from a opposite perspective!
Our past shapes us, it still can influence, especially if kids are in the picture.
BUT saying that, if someone is stalkerishly obssesive then it can be scary.
Litany
this message was edited so the dumbarse that wrote it could speel it korrect
www.synthetiklens.com (currently down)

10 Sep 06, 11:14 AM
venus_flames
UK(WR), 2 yrs
Hi Litany
I guess that is the problem as you get older, ur mainly dealing with people who have a past too and by adding little barriers we're trying to prevent things from getting too deep and possibly getting hurt.
Personally I like to keep the book open, never say never and just go with the flow. When something is right, it can't help but work.

28 Aug 07, 11:40 AM
CDSubBitch
UK(B), 18 mths
Or perhaps...
Could it be that people are drawn into the D/S lifestyle because it does affect them so much, that they really do need to submit? I mean can you really get off on a scene if it holds no interest? Imagine if it were you that the perv' in question cannot forget!
As a switch with massive sub urges I have one piece of advice: If you are seeking a sub, do not ASK to meet up with them, simply tell them where and when you wish to meet. I say this because being a Sub looking for a Dom I find it tricky since once you are in chains there is no room for a sub to negotiate. Further, it should be the Dom who shows their strength of conviction so that they can attract the right sub for them.
Or am I typing nonsense?


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