Posted by cerrynn1 on Mon 8 Sep 03, 7:39 PM to cerrynn1's blog.
In several past weblogs I have mentioned that although Matou and I didn't live together, I did consider our relationship to be “24/7” because I felt myself to be his submissive all the time, not just when we happened to be physically together. Well, ummm ... we moved in together the second week of August. Or rather, my two dogs, two cats, and I moved into Matou Mansions the second week of August. So ... has there been some great sea change in the nature of our D/s relationship now that we are (by some people's definitions, at least) “really” 24/7?
In a word: no. And that, in my opinion, is a very good thing ... not to mention a major relief.
Both of us are quite independent and self-sufficient people. Not that we don't enjoy socialising (our friends can vouch for that!) and I have always loved spending time together with Matou, either at home (his or mine) or when we were out and about, in company or just the two of us. But we are also old enough and experienced enough in terms of relationships to appreciate the merit of having “one's own space”. In addition, neither of us wanted to rush into anything. We both were satisfied with maintaining separate domiciles and spending 3-4 days a week together. Besides, we never felt truly “apart” in that when we were spending time in our respective residences we would be in ongoing contact via Messenger, email and telephone. We talked occasionally about living together, agreed that at some point in the future we would probably do so, but there seemed no reason to do it immediately.
Obviously, a reason – actually several reasons – did come up, connected with the (now possibly notorious) Vanilla/Real Life Problems we have been experiencing for the past months. So, the decision to co-habitate was made for practical considerations rather than from any desire to change the nature of the relationship or to “take things to the next step”.
Nevertheless, there have been *some* changes, for both of us. I think Matou has had the more challenging set of adjustments. Matou Mansions, previously a rather serene hideaway in the wilds of Coventry, has now been invaded by two semi-demented dogs (Liz and Lemon), two thoroughly demented cats (Pistol and Nym), and one highly problematic (if only occasionally demented) submissive. Serenity may be a thing of the past. Perhaps the biggest sacrifice for both of us has been that the home dungeon (aka the spare bedroom) is now occupied by litter trays, assorted feeding dishes, water bowls, and a pretty substantial quantity of my miscellaneous household goods. Not to mention that the spanking bench has become the cats' favourite napping spot.
On the D/s side, not so much, if anything, has changed. We have some practices and rituals that have been part of the relationship since it started, things I do (or in some cases, try to do!) because they please Matou ... which in turn pleases me very much. I am now doing (or trying to do) those things every day, rather than on the 3-4 days a week we used to spend together. I have always enjoyed these aspects of our D/s. My submission does seem to have a rather strong “service” orientation ... and I have always liked doing little things for the people I love. Consequently, I am delighted that I now have more opportunities to do more little things for Matou (and because no-holds-barred communication has always been the foundation of our relationship, I trust him to tell me if the “little things” start getting on his nerves!).
But apart from that ... nothing has changed. The D/s is the same: when Matou gave me his collar on 21 June 2002, I became *his* submissive, his property, body, mind, and soul. That has been the essence of the relationship ever since, and it continues to be so. From the day he placed his collar around my neck I have known and felt that I belonged to him, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred sixty five days a year ... regardless of whether we were physically together or not. Now that we are living together, much to my joy that sense of belonging remains unchanged. In other words, we aren't 24/7 now. We are 24/7 *still*.
I have probably rambled on long enough. But I do want to thank Matou, for helping me in more ways than I can relate here through what could have been a very stressful move, and for giving me (and my menagerie!) a home that truly feels like Home. Ai shiteru, Sensei ... itsumo.
Your cerrynn{M}
Edited Mon 8 Sep 03, 7:40 PM by cerrynn1
