Top Ten Chat Ups, or The Worst One Liners….. (10)

alexandraa's profile . alexandraa's homepage

alexandraa
Posted by alexandraa on Tue 22 Aug 06, 8:59 PM

and suitable put downs……. feel free to add……

1) Tell me a little about yourself

Memos with one line saying “tell me a little about yourself “ annoy me.

2) Hello little one.

You talking to me or your cock?

3) I can maintain an erection for 10 hours.

How uncomfortable.

4) So what do you….. enjoy?

A bacon sandwich and a good book.

5) What positions do you like?

On the sofa, box of chocolates, DVD

6) Do you find spanking horny?

What's spanking?

7) I love blondes.

Damn I've just dyed it black.

8) You look so sexy in your picture.

I had diarrhoea that day. It wasn't pretty.

9) I'm 25 but love having sex with older women.

That's nice for your grandma.

10) Take a look at my profile and memo me

(No reply)

Replies

22 Aug 06, 9:17 PM
Lady_I
UK(SS), 3 yrs
Q,
"Do you come here often"
A,
"Are you a cheesemonger?"
Yes some twat actually tried it on me!
Hugs,
Irene.

Yet Dom as I am _ Still I crave the wind from your sub wings
fleeting softly with gentleness so pure

22 Aug 06, 9:21 PM
Frau_Jaxx
UK, 2 yrs Because of my profile photo, i get
Nice tits, can i cum on them?
Bück dich befehl ich dir wende dein Antlitz ab von mir dein Gesicht ist mir egal bück dich http://www.sarahs-secrets.co.uk www.afterlife.org.uk

22 Aug 06, 9:24 PM
BarbieSlutLoki
UK, 3 yrs
I can remember doing a lousy Bill & Ted voice going "Wow your tits have got secondary harmonics" well it got me chatting anyway
Better not say where I chatted her up or you'll in handbag me lol

When I first met you I thought there was a mistake, how could you want me, didn't they teach you that loving me is nothing but pain
What did you see when you looked into my eyes a sea of blue, a place where your heart could lie where it could drown, where it will never survive...

22 Aug 06, 9:24 PM
Mel_SnM
UK, 3 yrs I may have a small penis but Ive got 16 stone to pack it in with..
it worked cause I laughed a lot..
sadly was true
for those who think big women are yak... if you want to feel the heat, you've got to have the meat

22 Aug 06, 11:05 PM
GazUK1963
UK(B), 3 yrs

Lady_I wrote:
Q,
"Do you come here often"
A,
"Are you a cheesemonger?"
Yes some twat actually tried it on me!

I may be just being slow tonight, but this is either very surreal, or I have missed something.
Gary x.
Everyone who lives dies, but not everyone who dies has truly lived.

23 Aug 06, 3:21 AM
Ariodante
7 yrs
Cardoman wrote:
" I live alone (with my dwarf hamster)"
For some reason I find the idea of a man living alone with a dwarf hamster quite sinister...
Perhaps they were made for each other?

< Paul > Timeo sapientiae et picturae ferentes
(Any resemblence to any person living, dead or otherwise having existed is purely coincidental. May contain nuts or other allergens. Contents may be hot when boiled. Laughing can result in coffee up one's nose or over the keyboard.)

23 Aug 06, 10:27 AM
artisian
UK, 2 yrs

Mel_SnM wrote:
I may have a small penis but Ive got 16 stone to pack it in with..
it worked cause I laughed a lot..
sadly was true
HEED
who ate all my f@*kin cream cakes

23 Aug 06, 11:09 AM
krystle
UK(NE), 5 yrs

alexandraa wrote:
9) I'm 25 but love having sex with older women.
That's nice for your grandma.

haha, i had a spate of those last year, all from 19 year old men. Being told they have a "thing" for old women just ISNT ever going to work.
also had one on B.com, from a Texan, advising me i had been selected to join his stable of cowgirls. Er, no thanks.
And another from a 69 year old man, informing me that age was but a number, and i was being chosen to benefit from his wisdom. He insisted he had the body and mind of a 45 year old, send me a photo, and he looked....... 69!

Edited 23 Aug 06, 11:10 AM by krystle

23 Aug 06, 9:43 PM
mackem_git
UK, 4 yrs You said you wouldn't quote me. That's really mean.

24 Aug 06, 12:44 AM
AmberUK
UK, 4 yrs
I just *lurve* the HNGs you find kicking around on IRC who open private messages after they've popped in to the channel you are on, looking for potential females to message.
Their first line is inevitably 'On your knees bitch'. If you try to engage in any kind of reasonable dialogue, you end up with them getting more and more abusive and eventually telling you all women are just sluts there to be used and abused and there's no such thing as a Dominant woman. Oh and they can't spell or use punctuation either LOL!
Then they come back into channel a few minutes later because you just kicked their arse out of there (because they didn't realise that the @ in front of a nick meant you were an op in there and could kick or ban them, just as they have no clue that a capital letter by convention tends to denote a Dominant!)
Used to be far worse a few years ago on DALnet than it is on bondage.com now though... Friends and I used to paste their comments in PM back into channel to share a laugh when some of them really got going and TV friends really used to mess with their heads rather beautifully too teeheehee *evil grin*


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