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IC : Weblogs : alexandraa : "Shared Pleasure"
Shared Pleasure (3)
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Posted by alexandraa on Sun 20 Aug 06, 1:58 PM
I feel an ache. In my body. In places here and there. A need for filling, for roughness and gentleness, for the harsh strike of a heavy flogger. Impact that stuns you and fill your body with heat. A thwack, a breath taking blow, knocking stress and tension away. A cock slamming hard against your cervix. What is there better than that? Massage is good to ease those muscles but really nothing comes close to the physical release a heavy sensual SM session can provide.
A pounding, a force that can't be resisted, knocking your body slowly through it's pain threshold. The pulse of pain and pleasure, my body aches for it but something stops me. Easy to find that release, a partner who'd be interested. Plenty who seek that hedonism. Not so easy to find that mental connection where that release actually brings real pleasure, more than a functional process. I'm not interested in functional processes. Bored of the casual advances of passing strangers. S&M with a relative stranger? No thanks. It's a hollow thing to me. The synergy of shared mutual pleasure, delight in each other, that's what's required.
Time has gone where partners are random, used and discarded at a whim. Long gone. Time has gone where I'd do something because someone I owe nothing to wants it. Long gone too. Odd to revisit that submissive tendency, that thought process that makes you believe it's easier to do a thing for someone else because it would make them happy. I remind myself it's better to say no to make myself happy regardless of another's feelings. What are their feelings for me? Balance, remember the balance, there must be “give” and there must be “receive” in equality.
Odd to think back to those days where I put other sexual partner's happiness before my own. Almost easy to slip into that form of self abuse. I think it's the submissive's zone of comfort. To give without receiving. Destructive without a dominant who understands that desire and need, and returns the care and balances the demand.
Giving without receiving, not to be confused with real submission. No. That's something different. To put someone else's happiness before your own. Quite different when you know that other is watching out for your happiness.
I think that's why I find these advances, that tell me of training, taming and forcing to another's will, offend me so much. It seems people are missing the point. Or have I become idealistic? Lived too long on my own perhaps? A strange mixture of submission and selfishness maybe? Maybe this is where age and experience have brought me and there is no answer, only maybes.
When the sadist and the masochist play without emotional connection, do they not both give without receiving? Or take without giving? Which ever way it is, I don't want that. As ever, I want it all….
Hands in my hair, cock in my cunt, cane on my arse, cruelty and love in one huge heady mix of sado-masochistic delight.
Take away your training and taming, your formality and ritual, bollocks to it. Give me power, passion and vibrancy. Spontaneity, the unknown and unexpected. Joy and laughter, strictness, control and giving. There must be giving.
Replies
20 Aug 06, 2:08 PM
northernwench
UK, 3 yrs
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Hmmmmm 
Nice sentiments...nicer imagery
(My libido is back  )
For a minute there, I lost myself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2tVublax0k
Edited 20 Aug 06, 2:49 PM by northernwench
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20 Aug 06, 3:42 PM
Destinationpleasure
UK, 3 yrs |
When you strip something down to its bare essence you find the power that drives it. bring me that horizon.....
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20 Aug 06, 5:20 PM
caprycorn
UK, 4 yrs
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I'd have agreed with you once about bollocks to the ritual, still would for so much of it. But then I'd say that many of us incorporate ritual without realising it - waiting for permission to touch, permission to climax, permission for whatever. Rituals of preparation - shaving, perfuming. Rituals of aftercare. I still would put J, Lucky and I on the milder side of ritual; I'm just more aware now I suppose of a very few of our own routines and rituals, unspoken but always present. Dammit, you've probably prompted me to write another blog...
And you are so right about the giving. The joy, the laughter, the passion, the sponteneity that is so necessary - for people like us anyway, oh evil twin of mine. Here's raising a glass (of lucozade, nothing too exciting) to the joy of it all. Nothing wrong with knowing what you want; so much more a positive place to be than floundering or lying to yourself. So if you need joy, hold out for it - you know you are so worth it
xxxxxxx My imaginary friend thinks that you have a problem
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