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SOD OFF .... NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING
ok profile's getting longer lol ... PLEASE at least read the top 3 paragraphs .... i know it's hard for some of you to get past my boots ... but i've had some incredibly crap memos lately .... and frankly it's getting on my tits xx
i keep getting asked what i'm looking for ... well nothing really ... if it's meant to be, it will find me .... I'm content with my own company ... and whilst it would be nice to find someone to share my company with ... it really isn't the primary objective of me being here .... i don't reply to every message cos i get too many,and i have a life to get on with ... same reason i don't spend all day on msn talking to random strangers ... but it's nice to hear from you x
Right i am going to point something out, although as adults you should really understand this by now .... if you think you want to meet me and all you want to talk about is sex, rather than if we actually like each other and have anything in common, and can spend longer than 5 minutes in a room together without driving each other nuts/killing each other .... or expect me to jump into bed with you after such a crap date or if you aren't interested in me, as a real human being ... and think i'm gonna just jump into bed with you .... please don't even bother messaging ....i really can't be arsed.. also please stop assuming that because i'm talking to you that i'm necessarily gonna meet you ... i'll block you, if you keep pressuring me to meet .... if i want to meet you cos i like you ... i will when i'm ready... ta ...... .
a friends description of me .... far too dominant to be sub ... but couldn't dom her way out of a wet paper bag that's already ripped ....
I think that basically means ... i'm a crap sub but an even worse Domme (really hasn't got a Dom bone in her body) lol ... but i spose that depends on your outlook .... with the right person, i could be perfect lol 
I have a 20 year old son at university, i also have a 2 dogs, 2 cats ..an evil rabbit called psycho and another bunny called john, they all come first, so no i aint gonna go gallivanting round the country, cos apart from being a pain getting someone to look after them... i really cant be bothered sitting on trains for hours, i dont have a car........ and sitting at home alone every night waiting for the weekend is rubbish .... i dont do LDR's they suck.... just so you know ....
am happy to chat on msn though ... if I'M bored
FAQ's
Q1, what colour knickers are you wearing?
A. i'm either not wearing any, or why does it matter you arent gonna see em anyway
Q2, what size are your boobs?
A depends how big your hands are
Q3, you havent got anything on your interests list ...what are you into??
A. if you interest me as a person you may one day get to find out ... till then it's none of your business
Q4, are you kneeling slut ?
A. oh yeah course i am whilst typing to you and behind a monitor. .... muppet
Q5, can i be your friend?
A. depends if you act like one or you think that will get you into my knickers .... it won't, you'll rip them.
Q6, will you Domme me mistress?
A. falls on floor laughing .... yeah course go chop your wanking hand off and send me the photos.
Q7. shall i book a hotel room for when we meet?
A. feel free i dont care where you stay.
Q8, do you swallow?
A. course i swallow, otherwise i'd die of starvation.
Q9, can i lick your boots?
A. yes if you want to die
Q10. will you marry me? (asked 4 times whilst just in convo on msn lol ... may have been a joke but not taking any chances)
A. only if you're very rich and suffering from terminal illness and gonna die in the next few weeks and you're gonna leave me all your money 
Q11. Do you squirt?
A. Of course, water pistols are such fun.
Q.12 I have some dirty boots, will you clean them with your tongue
A. 3 words ... f**k right off.
Q13. You will have to earn the right to sleep at my feet on the bed, otherwise you will sleep on the floor, how do you feel about that?
A. Hmmmmmm let me think ... bed, pillows, duvet ... smelly feet, floor ... see ya.
Q14. If you are good and earn 10 stars you can go out once for every 10.
A.I will actually go out whenever i want ... so go stick your stars up your bum
Q15. BDSM is not about sex, i don't actually like sex, so can I just hit you with hurty things??
A. er like whats that all about then ... not a chance lol.
Q16. Does size matter?
A. refuses to answer ... but you know the saying good things come in small packages .... that only applies to diamonds
Q17. are you really 44
A. no i lie about my age to make myself sound older :$ .... have you really got a 10 inch penis?
Q18. Are you playing hard to get?
A. who's playing? .... no I'm really not playing hard to get ... i told you 5 memos ago i wasn't interested.... in case you were wondering that means you aren't gonna get me .... EVER .... and yes i really do mean it.
Q19 Do you masturbate sometimes??
A. oh no i have never masturbated, in fact i don't have anything to masturbate .... the aliens sewed it shut when they abducted me
now talk to me like a person rather than your next conquest .... and stop being a muppet ... it's boring
thank you ... smiles sweetly and blows kisses 
xxx
.
please click MY VAMPIRE LINK and become a vampire so i get lots of blood .....
if you want a decent interactive map i have a good one 
if you want one please send me a memo with your email addy and i'll send it to you
thank you XX
some random crap about Me...
Which 3 men would you want stranded with you on a deserted island and why?
i'd quite like tarzan, cos he'd be good at hunting, and, and he could wear a loin loth and.... we could have a pet chimp and jason statham to wrestle sharks/natives/men with guns/ delete as applicable .... and to keep me warm at night .... and jimmy from jimmys farm cos he's the only chef type cooking person who doesn't do my head in within 3 seconds of the telly being on. and he'd be good at growing veggies .... need my strength for jase lol
Star Sign......... Leo .... which means if you're a Capricorn, really, honestly ....i hate you
Sexuality......... Very Straight .... and no that doesn't mean a little bit bi ... even slightly.
Alcohol ........I drink occasionally .... occasionally constitutes about twice a year, when i drink way to excess and usually fall over at some point
Perfect Partner ........one who says what he means and means what he says
Makes Me Happy .........lots of cuddles / chocolate
Makes Me Sad ...........running out of tea bags
Bad Habits ...........putting sweetie wrappers back in the tin oopss ..... otherwise i'm totally perfect .... *polishes halo .... removes made in Taiwan label before anyone sees it
My Favourite...
Colours ..... Black ... then purple ... and red ..... oh and of course red is only a colour i like .... officially, i'm all blue
Food ...........pot noodles /choccy/bananas & most things except cabbage/sprouts
Music.............rock / punk / 80s/green day/stiff little fingers and loads of other stuff that son tells me to turn down cos he cant hear his crap
TV Show ..................... top gear /friends /scrubs / CSI / NCIS /house / true blood
Author.........james herbert
Movies ...........shawshank redemption / life of brian/ about a boy / Green Mile / battle royale
Night Club ..................Jilly's Rockworld Manchester, only it's shut down now 
RIP
Animals ..........elephant / dogs / cats / chickens/horses
Person ........... me
Place ........... bed and anywhere hot
Things i hate .... moths/daddy longlegs/ spiders/ needles/ liars/ and blokes who cant be faithful...........
A few thoughts to contemplate... No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.... You can't trust dogs to watch your food... you know you are middle aged when you buy cereal for the fibre not the toy (funny the toy wins every time for me)... Laughing is good exercise, It's like jogging on the inside.... Forget the health food when you get past 30 you need all the preservatives you can get... and dont annoy me im running out of places to hide the bodies..
Lynda xx
Eye colour: blue Hair colour: black Height: 5ft 6in Weight: 9st 9lb BMI: 21.6
This profile was last updated on 26 Feb 11, 3:34 AM.
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