It is surprising how long we can deny such things for and I do believe that there will be times in the future, when I will find that I need to submit, but right now, it is far from that. So, I am not seeking, for I am already finding what I want but more so, with who!

I am a strong, intelligent submissive female, with a strength that some have tried to tame yet failed, I have many dimensions, with deep feelings and thoughts, along with layers that can be peeled away by the One who has that ability, who can delve into the depths of the mind and the soul, who is able to not only reach the depths of my submissiveness but reveal them and the person I naturally am.

I am friendly, honest, and genuine, valuing those I care about, thriving on deep devotion and loyalty. I am a sub with slave tendencies, my family and work commitments being the things which guide the depths to how this can be a part of my life. Yet, I know that it is something that is needed, desired and longed for, something that is needed within life to bring fulfilment and for me to be “me”.

Submissiveness to me is not about suffering, it is about service, it is about humility rather than humiliation; it is about being of use and not just being used. It is about being real, being respectful, being open and transparent; it is not about punishment, but discipline. It is not just about submission but obedience, developing deep levels of trust as you place your life in Ones hand, knowing that whatever path they may choose that you and your submission will always be safe, valued and treasured.

I am happy with who and what I am, my journey enabling me to accept my submissiveness and all it brings to me. It is something very real and very much felt, my need to serve and please sits at my very core and is the essence of my being. The focus of thoughts and feelings being placed upon One, knowing that with the growth of trust that there isn't anything that you wouldn't do for Them. Deep within, I am a sub, I am a slut and accept my place with humility, obeying orders and demands that may be made of me, emotionally, mentally, physically or sexually, knowing that in my submission I will not be judged but accepted guided, led, disciplined to learn how best to serve.

A common social perception is that submission equates with weakness, but I am certainly far from that, I have a strong and powerful mind, a dominant personality within my daily and work life, yet the depth of my submissiveness is given to only One and in such I find fulfilment and completeness. My submission and the ability to surrender, to relinquish control, to be controlled and Dominated is something that I flourish under. Giving of myself freely, the need to please existing above and beyond any other feelings that may exist.

I need a self controlled Dominant, one who can tame the feisty, but not bratty submissive One who through His own power can enable me to learn how best to serve Him, enabling me to believe in myself and my abilities, that in the face of trust He will inspire me, touching depths that will allow my inhibitions and limits to crumble at His feet.

These traits in Him, will inspire and touch me, bringing out my willingness to please, to obey and serve with respect. The result being that He will see not only what is on the outside, but the real depths stripped to its very core, the beauty that lies deep within and beyond the dominant personality that the rest of the world is privy to. Knowing I am safe in the knowledge that He is there should I falter, knowing that He will not let me fall.

I seek a Dominant who will peel away the layers, exposing those depths, someone who will destroy any thoughts of resistance that may exist, with His own skills and knowledge, with a blend of guidance, discipline, with torture and affection, enabling me to become His, that through His presence that He alone will make me want to please Him more than anything else in the world.

Yet in fulfilling His needs and desires however deep or dark they maybe, pushing barriers and limits, facing taboos yet knowing it can be done with acceptance and without shame. Enduring it willingly, yet welcoming it, that even in degrading or humiliating acts it will be a privilege simply because of the pleasure that He derives from such depths of submission.

I am a single 35 year old BBW female, and although I have a very real shy side, I have an open yet deep mind, a mind that reacts deeply to control, to being Dominated, to all that comes from D/s, someone who needs an “edge” and a danger, someone who desires a fear yet knowing that the fear itself creates a desire. With a body which reacts to similar depths. Very much into bondage, sensory deprivation, orgasm control/denial, hair pulling, spanking, fisting, anal play, humiliation, breast play, gags, collars, hoods, obedience training, wax play, floggers/crops, the list is endless in many ways and while some are still relatively new, some untouched, and limits yet undiscovered, that there is a never ending willingness and need to discover and explore with the underlying desire and need to please. I seek something that is real time only, having had that as part of my life now for 18+ months, anything else including online, just doesn't come close!

I know that in order to be the person I am, to be fulfilled and complete that this is the path I want to walk, and I seek someone who walks the path from the other end of the D/s spectrum knowing the fulfilment and completeness that such an exchange of thoughts, feelings and power can bring.

~ In my blog I will post what I want to write . . .don't like it . . .don't read it . .simple really! ~