I try to be specific, so please do not message/memo me saying you are perfect for me if you dont really know if you can offer me what im looking for, or if you know you are lying about yourself or your intentions, or who you really are.

I am an attractive slim flatchested (size 8-10) sensual and sensitive naturally genuinly submissive woman. Slightly Bi-curious, and one that believes in the beauty of passion and admiration for strength and intelect. A passion for imagination, freedom, expression and nurture, but most of all mutual respect and desire of understanding both ways. Things I love are mostly to do with art and cabaret, theatre, comedy, travel, sunshine. I also like shiney, furry, leather, silky and lacey things, shoes and boots and silver metal and - I am a shopping addict

I have not listed my bdsm interests as i feel it does not clarify much. Feel free to ask me if its of importance to you.

** Update ** Feeling very much like a certain tv charecter ' am i bovvered!?' Yes i have a checklist , but its not a 'wanklist', so dont ask for it to read before you meet me! I have had some fun heading sections of my profile - so that its easier to skim through it if you 'cant be bovvered' either

Note - The following elaborate questionairre selection process essay- is meant to be funny - aswell as long , time consuming and honest! It is the bitter mentally frustrated result of getting lots of twatty men replying to me when i was being clear and concise! - see webblog for answer to 'errr..('duh i cant understand any of that') so...what do you want ? :-S '

Please choose a heading for what you seek and let me know which of my boxes you fit into

(albeit doubtful i will find a man meeting my criteria 'online' but hey why delete this ad even if i think its pointless!) yes this is totally daft , but i just love writing pointless waffle

What Im looking for -

The elusive confident, kind, handsome and Dominant yin to my yang to share my life with , bring a smile to my face and my faith in human nature restored. - Please start at section 1

or possibly Friendship with 'benefits' -

Believe it or not - i think that any type of connection involving the sharing of D/s, s or m behaviour , should involve friendship too! I am bi-curious, and possibly open to a lesbian relationship - If you are female Please be super honest, as bitches scare the hell out of me more than bastards. Please start at section 2.

and FRIENDS -

on a non sexual basis, male, female or transgendered, to go to clubs , shopping or socialise with. If this is you please - Please skip all my pointless waffle - read the other pointless waffle labelled Section 3

are you - Looking for a playmate ? - go to section 2

are you -Looking for a Long Term or Serious/genuine Relationship ? Please start at section 1

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- SECTION 1 -

I am looking for a genuine relationship with someone that i find attractive, who is dominant and cares about me as a person. At present i cannot offer a live together situation , but i am single. Interests aside from sex are very important, as my 'submissive' side is very much part of my personality. As i am not willing to write my life story and personal info here - or spell it out for anyone to bluff through. It would mean spending time and effort getting to know me in person. I am very complex and can be confusing, you would need oodles of stamina and a degree in psycology would help.

If you DO NOT have a good memory and high level of life experience aswell as sexual bdsm ability and experience, then Please go to section 2.

If you have less than 7 inches with good width to offer when interested - Please go to section 2. If you are married and your wife doesnt know about your fetishes - and you havent 'done this' before - Please go to section 2.

If you are looking for a 'slave' to live a 24/7 life mirroring one that many see as an emotionally or physically abusive relationship that involves sadism and punishment for no apparent reason but actually is a beautiful intense meaningful relationship - please note that I would happilly kill you in your sleep if you managed to own me, and i have no time for ignorant fantasy dreamers or psychos so please do not contact me.

If you have learnt all about 'bdsm' through the internet - Please go to section 2.

Do you consider yourself handsome, successful, well endowed, open minded, and kinky ? Is your answer 'No' to any of the abouve ? - Please go to section 2.

Do you consider yourself A naturally protective Alpha male, have NOT got violent or twisted sadistic needs, but do enjoy the edges of sadism within definitive set boundries, and have no desire to push past hard limits. -- answer No ? - go to section 3.

Do you have the time and wish to bring out real life ( as in actual life skills, not sex ) potential in a person, Openminded and strong enough to deal with a degree of instability and neurosis, attracted to my physical description, and still interested ? Yes ? - then feel free to read ' more info for Cat A + B ' and section 2 for additional info.

If you have genuinly got this far without being directed elsewhere no and arnt just having a laugh! Please tell me you meet Box A1 standards if you contact me

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- SECTION 2 -

I am attractive but do not consider myself to be up to scratch for show , no matter how much others opinions and standards differ, I do not do a club escort service. If you are looking for a public playmate - go to section 5.

Private slutty behaviour is something i strictly reserve for very handsome intelligent , successful, generous and understanding people who are very talented and whom I adore being with - who treat me well and with respect and compassion - A rare breed seeking a special connection. If you think this sounds a bit too much effort or expense on your part then move onto section 3 for friends or section 5.

Im very sexually submissive instinctivly, what i do there is very much led by the person im with and thier ability to read me and handle me correctly. I am also emotional, passionate, feisty, changable, insecure, very independant.. obnoxious, talkative, bossy, indecicive, overexcitable ,neurotic, stroppy, withdrawn, lovable , affectionate, demanding , often have self destructive urges and If you are seeking an ongoing connection I will expect you to contain all these behavioural problems by certain means that work for me that we should discuss -If that scares you - please go to section 3 for friends only - or section 5.

I am not looking for a Dom/ Domme to control me via text or instructions online. I cannot 'accomodate' at my home. I am happy to travel, but I cannot afford huge expenses . I am based in the South of england. If you are still interested , still confident, then please gather your answers as i will need them ! - and read on - If you are unsure or loosing patience please go to section 3 for friends only , or section 5 -

I am single and free to do what i want, but it is fair to mention that i do have a few 'special friends' but no sexual partner in my life that im faithful in mind or body at the moment. The 'status' of anyone does not bother me, its more about the relationship itself and accepting it for what it is, and having the courage to be honest, or change the level of it if you want to. I dont want or need an overly controlling man in my day to day life , but i do seek a supportive and completely honest relationship. I do not expect or demand monogamy, but i am extremely faithful even if its not in the vanilla sense, I will always make the effort to please, but I do not deal with competition well at all - if you feel you are not able to protect my feelings by being both honest and respectful of that, please go to section 3.

I dont bother with 'vanilla' men is because it bores me to tears - literally , but Intensity with no support emotionally, or lack of communication totally destroys me. I love intense and i crave the excitement, but the balance within me is a delicate structure - and i am not a toy. (please do not insult my intelligence by trying to treat me as one) Please contact me telling me you meet Cat B standard and have your answers ready if you started on section 1. If you are male and have less than 7 inches with good width to offer when interested but have got this far - Please give yourself a Cat B- standard. Believe me this saves time! Your efforts and honesty will be appreciated !

An honest photo will tell me if there is any attraction there, so i would appreciate one.. to make things more complex.. i dont send pics, although i am happy to show you a pic of me on msn when i am ready to. If this all sounds reasonable , and you are not feeling intimidated then I guess it is safe to say that I am open to suggestions if you want to contact me - you tell me what you truly want and what you have to offer and i will give you my opinion and answer any questions you ask truthfully.

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-Even More info for people in Cat A + B

I am only interested sexually in dominant persons that are truly able to understand the concept of nurture and control for positive reasons, and whos main mission in thier role is to help a women grow in her self awareness strength in real life and to be appreciated being submissive sexually. I do like to 'adore' so for any sexual connection you must be attractive, not overweight please, intelligent, well mannered, and a strong secure sane personality. My ideal physical type in men - is around 6ft, usually dark haired with exciting eyes that i can trust, approx 12/13 stone, athletic - and with a brain too! - tho this is an Ideal - not a criteria , Attractive men come in many forms - charm skill , looks and magnetic personality, - but if you dont attract women easily its quite possible i wont be attracted to you either. It is impossible to know if there is a genuine spark for any form of friendship or sexual relationship without meeting face to face, but i do not have free time to meet for coffee every day! So if you want to send me a memo, please be honest and to the point, as i am afraid if you are not you may be wasting your time and mine.

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SECTION 5 -

If you actually just want a cheap whore to disrespect in public or sadisticly in private and feel you shouldnt pay for sex , and have no clear idea in your mind of what you can offer me - then be honest with yourself and go PAY MONEY for one! They do exist, they do cost more - and theres a good reason for that! - dont try to be clever by making out you have something to offer me. Stop reading now and find someone with less brains to play with. Give yourself a reality check. You only get out what you put in in this world. ( tosses hair in a hair-product-advert kinda way )

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SECTION 3 -

.. I am an open minded person, So if you dont meet my rediculously high criteria, are male/female/transgendered and feel drawn to me, then please do feel free to contact me. If you are thinking up 'the right thing to say' because you are hoping to hop out of one of my boxes into another then please dont waste your time .. I did this profile this way to avoid wasting time , the world is dying and i want to live!

- I am looking for open-minded women, as friends. I would like to exchange ideas, share info, socialise, Im no vamp and im genuine and honest so please feel free to drop me a line, i am open to and looking for real friendship and support, and to actually socialise, if i could find likeminded women around my area, it would be nice to go to shopping or to clubs.

I do not like bullies, egomaniacs, or the 'suck me bitch' type - either male or female as friends or lovers, but i do love tarts whatever your sexuality - and welcome genuine Ts /Tv 's for shopping trips on a non sexual basis -- If you would like to meet up - i think its also a good idea to chat on msn first with cam - so we kno we are real! I am looking only for connections with people that are truly genuine and not ones where i am abused or controlled mentally. Honesty and Communication are key issues to me. --------------------------------------------------- --

Whatever the score - i find it very odd that a few females with new profiles - no pics or network have contacted me to chat about experiences .. then seem to dissapear after theyve told me all about thier kinky exploits - either they didnt like my genuine replies ..or there has been at least 3 women that have dissapeared off ic ( and maybe real life )after sessions with married men ! :-S

Ok.. so there u go.. (- bounce ball to you..and I go back behind the curtain!) If you read this far .. WELL DONE!! ( I talk a lot too.. sometimes!)