Me	IC Name: notanodalisque Joined: 14 Jan 2010 Last visit: 21 hours ago Sex/gender: Female Location: Manchester, UK Age: 27 Website: http://notanodalis...

It would be nice to meet someone. Someone who has read Foucault. Someone who wants to tie me up, beat me hard and then begin doing nasty things to me. Someone who gets excited about picnics, dances and the latest Virginie Despentes. Someone who smiles benevolently on my collection of kitsch kitchenware. Someone who can win an argument. Someone, in short, who can spell.

No, now is not a good time to tell me about the Easter Bunny.

I am not desperately seeking. I'm not looking to strip for you via webcam, move in with you in Sweden, or be nice about your poetry. I wish you well in all those pursuits, but all I can offer is that I may be interested in a conversation. I know an inordinate amount about the Marquis de Sade, if you need a way in.

Addendum

Do you know how many memos I get? I've given up counting, but answering them has become a full time job. Most of it is spent copying and pasting my polite, “no, thank you,” message to people offering me kinky vacations or “natural dominance”. I'm afraid I've just got better things to do. If your memo doesn't contain the following, therefore, you will not get a reply:

• A mention of your favourite cake. Or that you don't like cake at all. I suppose that you could write about your passion for cake and inability to pick one special favourite. In any case, supplying this irrelevant piece of information will prove that you've actually read my profile, rather than just glanced at my photo and thought “she'll do.”

• Perfect spelling and grammar. It will save me sending your memo back to you covered in corrections in red pen. More importantly, it will show that you have enough regard for me to proof-read. Why should I spend time replying to someone who wasn't willing to put those two minutes in for me?

• An author with a full profile. I did mine. How am I meant to decide whether I want to talk to you without any information about who you are? Do you put a bag on your head to accost people on the street and ask if they want to get to know you? Thought not.

• No claims to be “genuine”. I'm sure you are, love, but you could say it even if you weren't.

• No prodding. Anyone who sends a follow-up memo saying “why haven't you replied to my message?” will be automatically ignored. It makes you seem like a stalker.

I've previously been accused of being picky. Indeed, I am, and I can afford to be. Blame whoever flooded the market with cheap, shoddily made Doms.

Height: 5ft 10in  

This profile was last updated on 17 Sep 10, 10:26 PM.

(Please read the cautions on About Personal Ads before responding to an advert. In particular, "Flat 51, 17 Holywell Hill, St Albans, AL1 1DT" is a mailbox address used by a persistent scam artist.)