Sassy? Who? me?

IC Name: kitty_claw Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Last visit: 8 days ago Sex/gender: Female Location: Near Hastings, UK SLRN: 706-898-250

In a relationship with @Dave_Shiney.

I am "Shiney's little helper" and am now helping Dave host the @Crawley_Munch, 2nd Tues of the month at the Plough, 181 Three Bridges Rd, Crawley, RH10 1LG

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I am a lot of things to a lot of people and sometimes feel a bit like Eleanor Rigby, with a jar full of faces kept by the door, to put on depending on who I'm with at the time.

With Dave I don't need to do that. I am just me. No hiding behind a facade just me. I have found someone who can cope with my soft soppy side, my baby girl side and my stroppy obnoxious side and it is a wonderfully liberating feeling to have someone who accepts me as I am.

This is good because I am tired of trying to be all things to all people all of the time. I haven't got the energy or the inclination to do so anymore. I need to be me.

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For as long as I can remember I've longed for a relationship where the male is decidedly alpha. Where it is very clear that he is in charge . Where, although he values and asks for my opinion, the final say, the final decision, is his and his alone.

In my deluded state, I believed marriage was like that, that all men would want the same thing.(Yeah, I was young lol) How wrong I was.

Instead I found that I had to be the one in charge, the one making all the decisions because my husband didn't want to, had no desire to and was much happier leaving it all up to me.

Still I clung to that hope, to that dream. The submissive in me trapped in a life she didn't want, pushing away the unhappiness.

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How would I label myself now? Hmmmm hard one. I thought I knew but as I've progressed in this lifestyle I have learnt I am so much more than I thought I was

If push came to shove, I would have to describe myself as a masochistic submissive with sadistic toppy tendencies

Masochistic because I get off on pain. I have been known to orgasm from pain alone. This doesn't mean I get only pleasure from pain though, it still flipping hurts like hell and I still fear it (before it starts and I get into it ) But I do need pain.

Submissive because it is the very core of me, to fully submit to a male who is worthy of my submission. Who is naturally dominant and and who gives me a framework, a structure, enabling my full submissiveness to surface.

Sadistic because I have discovered that I enjoy inflicting pain. I get off on seeing the other persons reactions to whatever I am doing to them.

Toppy because that's how I feel whilst I'm being sadistic. I enjoy topping but I am definitely not a Domme. I can't get into that headspace one little bit (thank goodness)

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I can also usually be found at "The Eastbourne Munch", "The St Leonards Munch"and Dv8 XS Kent/Medway

Eye colour: green   Hair colour: brown   Height: 5ft 4in   Weight: 8st   BMI: 19.1  

This profile was last updated on 30 May 11, 2:48 PM.

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