I have a large family - cats, giant African land snails, feral cats, foxes and hedgehogs.

I spend most of my time shovelling food into the front of things and shovelling away ex-food from the back of things.

I also work for my local city council, where I have to deal with crap being shovelled my way.

I survive. It's what I do, surviving. I try to do it with grace and style, but above all, I survive.

The scientists say that when the world ends, the cockroaches will take over. Who do you think will be feeding them and shovelling at the other end?