I'm 47, I've been around the scene for about 10 years now, although my experience doesn't reflect that. I honestly think I'm the sort of kind, caring, gentlemanly kind of guy you see ladies looking for in lonely hearts. Unfortunately I need more than you'll find in your average lonely hearts lol.

My idea of a good bdsm scene revolves around role-play, trust and communication. Bondage, suspension, blindfolds and anything that plays with the senses such as ice or pinwheels are a good place to start. The only thing I've tried and don't really like are heavy beatings. The psychological interplay is what makes it work best for me. This is not really achievable on a casual basis so obviously some compromise has to take place before this can really happen. I won't ever be 24/7, I've got a vanilla life outside the scene too, after all vanilla is much underated, did you know it's made from orchid seeds?

I'm full of contrast, confident but shy, serious but barmy, smart but naive at times. I love to laugh and make people laugh. I'm told I've unique sense of humour and take that as a compliment. You'll never find another like me!

I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I'm easily bruised, not really a good combination but none of us are perfect.

I value honesty, I am honest by nature and expect it in others. If you can't be honest with me we won't get along. On the up side of that, when I've made my mind up about someone I'm very loyal and protective of my friends. If you don't like me, tell me, but don't pretend you do.

I do get along with people very well when given the opportunity, it's rare for me to take an instant dislike to someone but I'm big enough to admit I get it wrong sometimes and make up.

I have a very long fuse and I'm very patient, but apparently there's not much warning before I do explode, oh and I do sulk afterwards too lol. I am very respectful of others, no matter what their differences may be. Even if they challenge my ideals I don't disrespect them unless they are disrespectful of me when I will defend myself vigorously.

I know labels don't define me, but inevitably they are used to help people understand you. To that end:- I do crossdress but I'm neither bi nor gay, I can switch but that would depend on who with, I love school girl uniforms but only on mature adults.

This is what I seek

Short term,

I'm open to offers for a play partner(s) both one off or regular. I will play with couples but as I'm straight there will be limited interaction between me and the guy, if this is you, memo me and we can talk in more detail. I need more experience in lots of things but I'm not a complete novice. On flagellation, this is one thing I've tried and I enjoy only in moderation, I'm much better at giving on this. I like to domme with the head as part of a role play and less casual play. I love to try different sensations, tie me and tease me and I'm away.

Long term, and know this is just a pipedream, but dreams come from imagination and I've certainly got one of those lol!

I'd like to met that life partner who shares my love of dressing up and exploration. I want a relationship, cuddles by the fire and walks along the beach stuff. Funnily though I'm not looking for a living together type relationship, I need a bit more freedom than that would usualy offer. It wouldn't matter if she's more or less experienced than me, it's the type of person that's important. Age is also not important, although I'd expect her to be over 30 and under 60 these aren't hard limits, more to do with being able to relate to one another. Sorry but I'm not really into the largest ladies, up to and around size 20 is fine though.

That's the good stuff, here's the negative stuff now.

If you don't want to spend the time it takes to get to know me don't start. If you don't like the look of me you probably won't like me. If you treat me badly I will react badly. I've been hurt so many times by so many people (not physically you understand) that I no longer trust anyone until I know them well. If you befriend me then ignore me I will get hurt and you really don't want to do that. Be nice, be polite, be respectful and who knows what will happen.

Well if you've read this far there must have been something that got your attention so why not message me? You know you want to, even if you're not what I'm looking for we can still be friends. I don't bite, much and only if you ask really nicely.

BTW the list below contains things I like, things I might like and these could be either both or only dom or sub roles, I guess you'd better ask me if you're confused lol.

Toodle pip Abbey