IC Name: Thoughtleader Joined: 29 Aug 2004 Last visit: 21 hours ago Sex/gender: Male Location: London, UK Age: 46

UPDATE: I'm going out with a lovely woman now, so I'm not looking.

-----------------------------------------

I've been called masculine, intellectual and cool - and they're right. I'm a thinking dominant man: a reader and writer who wants much more from life than just sex or just money, without having anything actively against either of them. I loathe clichés, so don't expect me to fit any boxes or tread well-worn paths. I'm different. I'm not part of any scene, and don't do scenes either, whatever they are, and I hate shiny outfits and clubs.

The women I'm interested in may think of themselves as submissive, as "1950s housewives" or as slaves - terminology isn't the crucial thing. What is important is that she wants a serious, 24/7 relationship built on my dominance and her submission, and in which she serves, obeys and finds fulfilment. What I have in mind is a combination of marriage and slavery, of M/s and "Taken in Hand"; I want to feel like a woman's owner, and I think of her as my slave-wife.

I'm forty-five, and I live in London where I have a very "road less travelled" career. I love my work, but I love other things too, especially intellectual things like books (I spend too much time in bookshops), films, classical and painfully edgy contemporary music, ideas, poetry (which I read and write, and my own poetry isn't embarrassingly awful, either), theatre, art and foreign languages. I exist below the neck too, though: I love the tango, which gorgeously symbolises a D/s or Taken in Hand style relationship because I get to direct the dance, and with luck my partner trusts me, feels gorgeous and gets taken on a wonderful ride; I like cooking, am interested in clothes, (because they make me feel masculine, just as yours make you feel feminine) and many more things. I'm the kind of man who'd rather have tickets to Macbeth or the ballet than watch football or mend things in a shed, but believe me, I defer to no one in terms of masculinity. I'd be a good partner for a brainy woman with intellectual interests.

I need to dominate a woman sexually and in other ways; I need to be in charge, to be respected and obeyed, and to have authority over her. I want the power to punish her if she displeases me, and a sex life that satisfies my desires when and how I like (I'm interested in "blanket consent" or "consensual non-consent"). I'd also like to fall completely in love with her and have an intense, passionate and romantic affair with her. I want to satisfy her completely, as completely as I dominate her.

I've always had these feelings, though I've suppressed them to a greater or lesser extent in relationships with lovely women who've had varying amounts of interest in my sexuality. I've long been interested in BDSM and have looked for a partner through many kinky websites, but I've always felt on the edge of this world, not truly at home – I think because the culture of the BDSM community sometimes seems to focus on clubs, fetishwear and roleplay, none of which interest me. I want truly to dominate my woman, not to play out a fantasy with her about imaginary people, or to show off in front of others in horrible outfits made of nasty fabrics.

I know I'm biased, but I reckon I'm not bad alpha boyfriend or husband material for a very intelligent, feminine woman: I'm highly presentable and more than decently articulate, and I've been called “all man”, “authoritative”, “powerful” and “very dominant” by women who know me – goodness knows how they get these ideas! I think those quotes show, though, that I may have the inner drives you're looking for in a man.

I can be a bit of a micromanager – be warned. I have some very definite ideas about my partner's appearance and dress, for example. She'll wear the skirts and the tights, I'll wear the trousers and belts. I expect to control her deportment, her eating and her use of the toilet. I also have deep, dark sexual needs: spanking my woman and telling her off aren't enough to satisfy my nature. I'll need to cane her and punish her in other ways, I'll need extreme respect from her and I'll want urinal service too. I love bondage, and I'm a bit sadistic, but I think it is only a little bit.

Finally, I'm seriously loving, loyal and supportive – devoted to my partner's wellbeing and happiness, in fact. I want to help my woman be the very best she can be, not just for me but for herself; and to help her find contentment.

Eye colour: dark   Hair colour: brown   Height: 5ft 8in   Weight: 11st 6lb   BMI: 24.1  

This profile was last updated on 6 Jan 11, 10:43 AM.

(Please read the cautions on About Personal Ads before responding to an advert. In particular, "Flat 51, 17 Holywell Hill, St Albans, AL1 1DT" is a mailbox address used by a persistent scam artist.)