• I don't respond to people with blank profiles, or memos that look 'cut-and-pasted'!
• Don't address me as 'Mistress' or by any similar title. That's my pretty one's prerogative, not yours.
• Memos with 'Raaaaar' in the title line will get preferential treatment. Just 'because'
• While an appreciation of the surreal/bizarre and a finely-honed sense of humour may well catch my attention, quick wit is not an adequate substitute for compassion and a sense of integrity.
• It's in your own best interests to show courtesy and consideration towards others here on IC and elsewhere. Lack of manners, selfishness, arrogance, ruthlessness, 'pushyness' and dishonesty aren't impressive. Really.

My interest is specifically in D/s, and in the creation and evolution of a structured hierarchy which is of benefit to both/all participants. Within the setting of a relationship, I don't gain satisfaction simply from asserting my will over someone else- nor from inflicting suffering per se- but rather from the fact that another person, whom I respect, has freely subjugated their own will to mine, choosing to endure pain, punishment or humiliation because I require it.

I see submission as a complex and challenging process, rather than an individual act, and rules, routines and protocols are important to me in this regard. While my D/s interactions are much more 'about' the dynamic between myself and my partner/s, rather than a fixation with specific activities, the list of 'interests' indicated below will give you a 'ballpark' idea of what I'm into, playwise. I also *love* fear play, encasement bondage, zentai, pet play... and did I mention, encasement bondage?

I'm as fascinated by theories as much as practices where BDSM (and many other things!) are concerned. I therefore enjoy the company of people who demonstrate the willingness to think for themselves, the ability to express their thoughts with clarity, and the capacity to reflect upon and re-evaluate their point of view. If you happen to be 'into' cultural and critical theory, gender studies and/or philosophy, I'd be particularly interested in hearing from you.

For Newbies...

Don't be put off by the combative nature of the boards. Take time to look around and 'find your feet' rather than rushing into anything, and- this bit's REALLY crucial- be aware that IC 'works' in conjunction with real life socialising, not as a substitute for it!

There are plenty of folks who are friendly and decent (aside from the pervery!). It can take time and effort to find them, though, so don't be disheartened if things take a while to 'happen' for you.

It can knock your confidence when people let you down or mess you about, but take heart and remember that other peoples' actions and attitudes do reflect (and ultimately impact) upon them, not upon you!

My favourite IC blogs/posts/threads

On occasion I read something on IC that really 'strikes a chord' with me. The following posts, to my mind, really 'stand out' in this regard:

• Oscagne_uk's advice to newbie male subs
• Northern_Phoenix on D/s, male submission and gender identity
• The_Marquise on being a domina and on ownership
• Wonderer on D/s as moral training and purification
• Verte on male dominance and masculinity

The following threads are also very thought-provoking...

• What does D/s really mean?
• (Submissive/all?) men love a bitch
• The Superiority of a Dom/me
• 'How can an egalitarian want to be subservient?'
• On desire and disgust and Conflicting and guilty desires
• Innate sexual proclivity or psycho-sexual trauma?
• Psychological power dynamics- how important?
• Nature or nurture? Are we born or made?
• Mental health and BDSM

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Despite appearances, I'm quite approachable (I'm pouting for 'sultry' effect, fule!), so do say 'hello'/'fantastic outfit'/'here's some cake/'Raaaar!' if you happen to chance upon my profile or to see me out and about.

O

I iz watching...