Camera overhead for the win!

IC Name: Opal_x Joined: 27 Feb 2005 Last visit: 81 days ago Sex/gender: Female Location: East Midlands, UK Age: 40

Currently very busy dealing with non-scene-related things and hence it may take me a while to reply to memos.

I'm NOT looking for anything play or relationship-wise, but new chums are always welcome! If, however, you are considering sending me a memo regarding some sort of fantasy scenario... then don't.

'I cans has Domme plz?'

The primary purpose of my profile on IC is to keep in touch with existing friends from the scene. The intention of my ad is to get to know more kinksters who share any- or all- of my wide range of interests. If anything below strikes a chord with you in any way, feel free to drop me a memo.

I don't reply to one-line memos, memos from people with blank profiles or memos which appear cut-and-pasted. My interest in D/s is only a part of my life and I tend to respond more favourably to those who approach me as a person- rather than some sort of fantasy figure!

Ideally, for me, D/s-related 'stuff' would form one aspect of a well-rounded relationship encompassing a variety of shared interests and points of connection.

Call me perverse, but unless you are someone whom I find attractive and whom I feel that I could respect, I will have no desire to degrade you!

While contact is welcomed from intelligent and articulate men with integrity and a sense of humour, it's unlikely that I'll be interested in making you suffer unless you are a successful professional, taller than me, well turned-out, and a regular gym goer/sporty type. Excellent hair helps too.

BDSM and D/s stuffs

Within the somewhat limited taxonomy of BDSM, I identify as a Domme- rather than a Top- and would also describe myself as a benevolent sadist. Cruelty and kindness are qualities that I possess in equal measure, and D/s only 'works' for me in the context of a relationship with someone who is able to appreciate both of these, and to respond appropriately.

I don't gain satisfaction simply from asserting my will over someone else- nor from inflicting suffering per se- but from the awareness that another person, whom I respect, has freely subjugated their own will to mine, and has chosen to endure degradation, punishment or pain because I happen to require it. While 24/7 micro-management is *not* what I'm actually 'about', the concept of training and the use of protocols are of interest to me because I see dominance and submission as complex and challenging processes rather than individual acts.

I've met some fantastic people on the scene but- paradoxically- I've had much more successful and fulfilling D/s relationships with kink-friendly blokes that I've met in vanilla life. A fair few self-proclaimed 'submissive' guys (on IC and elsewhere) seem to be incapable of having any sort of meaningful relationship with an actual woman... which is what matters, at the end of the day.

When someone makes an effort to get to know you as a person, grows to respect you, and then chooses to submit to you (in whatever capacity) on that basis; *that's* what D/s is all about, at least for me. Everything else is just bullshit, theatre and nonsense, really.

For the record, I don't believe that either sex is inherently superior. I'm also of the opinion that anyone who believes that men who submit (or 'submissive men', depending on your perspective) are a bunch of snivelling, pathetic, wimps who deserve contempt, is a bit of a jackass. Strength of character, determination and courage are required in order to deliberately and willingly surrender control to someone else in any meaningful way. And guys, take note: throwing yourself at the feet of any random Domme in the vicinity (even if it's me!) will make you look like an absolute dick!

Me! Me! Me!

My attendance at BDSM-related events is somewhat sporadic though I do organise LUXE (an invite-only Femdom party) several times a year. In keeping with my wide variety of interests I do most of my socialising outside of the scene. Some things that I am currently enjoying include…

Gardening (I plant seeds and they GROW! fuck! yeah!)~ dead lifting 40kg ~ shopping (MORE steampunk handbags! MORE!) ~ vintage fashion and 1940s music~ historical re enactment events ~ picnics and kite-flying in the park ~ Predator (YAY) ~ cheesy 'investigative' paranormal television shows ~ maritime and medical history ~ chilling out in cafes (NOT pubs!)~ cultural theory and philosophy ~ my awesome Star Trac NXT spinner ~ visual art ~ classic and contemporary cinema ~ crazy dancing with (or, on occasion, without) music ~ 55kg+ squats (raah!) ~ and, lastly, spending time with people who are smart and courageous enough to recognise and challenge their own paradigms

New to IC?

Hi there! Don't be put off by the combative nature of the boards. Take time to look around and 'find your feet' don't rush into anything, and- this bit's crucial- be aware that IC 'works' in conjunction with real life socialising, not as a substitute for it!

There are plenty of folks on the scene who are friendly and decent (aside from the pervery!). It can take time and effort to find them, though, so don't be disheartened if things take a while to 'happen' for you. If you have negative experiences, it may be worth reconsidering your approach. Dom/me, sub, switch (or whatever), we are all entitled to respect and consideration.

"Always recognize that human individuals are ends, and do not use them as means to your end". Immanuel Kant

If, on the other hand, someone else's treatment of you falls short of this, don't blame yourself. It can knock your confidence when people let you down or mess you about, but take heart and remember that we all bear the responsibility for our own behaviour and, at the end of the day, the actions and attitudes of others will reflect (and ultimately impact) upon them, not upon you!

Despite appearances, I'm quite approachable, so feel free to come over and say "Hello"/"GREAT shoes"/"Raaaar!" if you happen to see me out and about.

Eye colour: Blue   Hair colour: Black   Height: 5ft 9in   Weight: 11st   BMI: 22.6  

This profile was last updated on 20 Nov 11, 7:41 PM.

(Please read the cautions on About Personal Ads before responding to an advert. In particular, "Flat 51, 17 Holywell Hill, St Albans, AL1 1DT" is a mailbox address used by a persistent scam artist.)