I have someone thanks dont know where its going but you never know till you try & thanks to all those who have contacted me, friendship is cool About me if your interested to read I am complicated but easy, no contradiction there then, but what can I say im female , I wear my heart on my sleeve, but its surrounded by heavy armour so if you want to get in expect a long & hard task ahead What ever happened to good old fashioned romance??? Likes: music, cheesy 80's, romantic drivel, gregorian chant,Vivaldi, light rock & pop, movies, travel, reading, good food, dancing, the human mind, some eekkk exercise & people who make me laugh. BDSM wise well its quicker to say what play I dont do, kids, scat, or un-ssc Most enjoy, being sadistic, a nasty bitch, & hitty play Domme, yep & in most areas of my life too, I like my own way most of the time, well why shouldnt I, oh & im a right moody cow when I dont get it! Sub, no never have, dont think I want to or could ever find the head space, never say never but its also not a direction im interested in going in. I am curvy & like being curvy, I have tattoos & some piercings, I smoke & drink in moderation, & I dont go to church on Sunday , yes im flawed but aren't we all? Feel free to drop me a memo if you want to chat & if you have something to talk about I dont like msn as im dyslexic (bloody stupid word for people with word blindness!) So im happy to memo, but expect typo's & dont mistake that for me being daft. Regards Eve

Just some more stuff that I like or is of interest to me

I also help at with the Salisbury munch & attend the Warminster munch when possible The next Salisbury munch will take place on the last Tuesday of November, which is the 25th. The location will be the Wetherspoons (The Kings Head) and we'll be there from about 7:30pm. As you come through the door we'll hopefully be seated round to the left, you'll know it's us because there'll be a leather rose on the table. Free parking can be found in the Market Square which is only a short walk from our venue. Please remember this is a vanilla venue so please dress accordingly. If you'd like a meet and greet please just memo me and we can arrange something! Look forward to seeing you there!

Funny as fuck

I have been going through a change, I have had to rediscover me, Eve, Eve the person, Eve the woman in a Domme's body, with a subs loving heart, see I like to trust, I like to believe in people, I am often disappointed, but rarely in my friends more often in my lovers, it makes me sad to the core that we spend our life searching for a mate to be with yet we are so quick to dismantle a relationship before it has even begun.

I wonder why we treat those we proclaim such care for with such disregard, then we carry to our next relationship even more excess baggage, less trust, less faith, less chance of it actually working & then become more jaded over time, its nothing more than a self fulfilling prophecy.

So why bother, well we have too, I could change, become cold hearted & give up but then I would lose me more so than I have already, but now I am finding me again or maybe for the first time, & living with & accepting me, I can see my achievements & can finally be proud of me

My Card You are The Empress Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation. The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful. The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

You know some people aspire to a fantasy that can never be reached because it doesn't exist.

They spend their whole lives in search of something they have dreamed up because it makes their real lives bearable.....one day......one day............when one day.......one day if only....

The tragedy is that they wake up one day and realise that that one day they always dreamed of, did come, but they were so busy looking forward to that one day, they missed it....they had it, it's now been and gone & they let it slip through their fingers......... hey ho, shit happens

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personal...

I sense your presence---

Even though I cannot see you----

I feel your heat from across the room---

You are my Mistress, in all that I do

I cannot hear you---

But my body is filled with your scent---

I breathe in until I am breathless---

You are my Saviour, in all my lament

I do not fear you---

Even when the walls echo my screams---

I pull toward, not from you---

You are my Mistress, in all of my dreams---

I can not leave you----

Even though the moon tells me so---

I bow before you with humility---

You are my Mistress, wherever I go

Copied from a weblog by Cosmo - Control The words to make a person feel wanted, beautiful & loved beyond measure - to clarify these words were not written for me, I just found them beautiful & a pleasure to read You are the voice inside my head You are the emptiness in my bed You are the strength I momentarily dropped You are my world which suddenly stopped You are the keeper of my keys The one who sends me to my knees You have my heart beating at your feet You are the addiction I cannot beat You are the backbone of my strength To serve you I will go to any length There is no fear for me but loss No longer will I try to boss I was your special boy before Now I'm him and so much more For you there is nothing I will not do Nothing compares to my love for you Without you I fall apart I can't bear for us to be apart I intend to show you what I've learned I'll make sure all your trust's returned You are the sadist who pulls my strings You are the one who safety brings You are my One, my Her, my All For you further I cannot fall You are the enchantress of my soul Now I beg for your control

Autumn winds blow And leaves turn to gold Light turns to dark An eternal night Rain fall hard All hope is washed away Night like death seems to last forever Spring so far away Out of reach Out of time Out of will to even try Fire burns still bright Embers like the Autumn leaves Left untended dies Heat fades turns to ashes Cold now so cold Alone with eyes open

Truth < < < < yes its a link

Current mood hope

PMS & Bi-Polar what a mix

Quotes from the Matrix I like This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. You are the One, Neo. You see, you may have spent the last few years looking for me, but I have spent my entire life looking for you. You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss. Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from. Which is why the Matrix was redesigned to this: the peak of your civilization. Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world? Welcome to the real world. Neo, sooner or later you're going to realize just as I did that there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path. The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work... when you go to church... when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. What truth? That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind. I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it. Free your mind. I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

"Life is not a race but a journey to be savoured each step of the way

yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift"

Is self harm any different to smoking a fag, drinking till you pass out, eating till your obese, the only difference I can see is the damage is internal & the crimson river flows in & not out, holding all the pain in, that consumes to make the river perpetuate, with no hope of release until the end when the damage is past repair, but any way I look at it it is all self inflicted. What makes one act any worse than another & by who's divine right do they judge? A victim needs it to be what they are, no more no less, just what they are & what they feel comfortable being, the blanket of dark pain is what they know, & until they are ready or desire different it shall shroud their pain in safety

The stigma of counselling, although is becoming more widely accepted as being more benefit than not still has prejudices against.

A poem by Stephanie, from Healing the Hurt Within. Take my advice, why dont you? Go get a life I say, just tell your hurt to go away. I dont like it when your low, I want the 'old you' back, you know. Its not healthy to be depressed, youre getting really self-obsessed. Get out of bed & face the day, put on a smile, its better that way. There, there, dear, I know how you feel, but its all in the past so whats the big deal? Go find a job, you could learn to knit, I really think you should stop dwelling on it. Aunt Maud says her neighbour Miss Wood, thinks all this counselling really does you no good. And my friend Beryl her sisters a nurse,says shes read in the paper that they just make you worse. And im not being nasty, but cannot see, how your nervous breakdown is worrying me? You know that I love you, you know that I care,but I really do think that your being unfair. And then theres the children, they still need their mum, so pull up your socks & get off your bum. I know what your thinking, im nobodys fool, emotional blackmails a powerful tool. So take my advice & block out the past, live for today & put on your mask. Try not to cry, try not to feel, who really cares if your not being real? What does it matter, what small price to pay, to take who you are & lock it away? So please stop this nonsense, do it for me, I know that your hurting, but I dont want to see.

If only life were so simple, but how cold would we be, thoughtless, emotionless, drones, no care for the past, present or future?

I don't care if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now.... I dont care if you are a guy or a woman or Michael Jackson.....just read this, it will make a difference.....

When she stares at your mouth [ Kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hits you like a dumbass because she thinks shes stronger than you [ Grab her and dont let go ]

When she starts cussing at you tryin to act all tuff [ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]

When she's quiet [ Ask her whats wrong ]

When she ignores you [ Give her your attention ]

When she pulls away [ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst [ Tell her she's beautiful ]

When you see her start crying [Just hold her and dont say a word ]

When you see her walking [ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]

When she's scared [ Protect her ]

When she steals your favorite hat [ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]

When she teases you [ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesn't answer for a long time [ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she looks at you with doubt [ Back yourself up ]

When she says that she likes you [SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!!!]

When she grabs at your hands [ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]

When she bumps into you; [ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tells you a secret [ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes [ dont look away until she does ]

When she says it's over [ she still wants you to be hers ]

When she reposts this bulletin [ she wants you to read it ]

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything. - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go - When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her - because 10 yrs later she'll remember you - Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her - Treat her like she's all that matters to you. - Stay up all night with her when she's sick. - Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid. - Give her the world. - Let her wear your clothes. - When she's bored and sad, hang out with her. - Let her know she's important. - Kiss her in the pouring rain. - When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking baby?"