|
IC : Profiles : King_Key
| Profile: | King_Key |
| Created on: | 8 Mar 2006 |
| Last visit: | 6 hours ago  |
| Country: | UK |
| Location: | Watford / London |
| Sex/gender: | Male |
| Age: | 38 |
| Eye colour: | Hazel |
| Height: | 5ft 9in |
| Sex/gender seeking: | Female | | Ad title: | Can you keep a straight face ? |
| Ad updated: | 25 days ago |
.
Indeed, as the Ad Title quotes from the first draft of a well known Lennon/McCartney composition ... " Listen, Can you keep a straight face / Do you promise not to laugh ? " It was changed in the final recording by the guiding hand of George Martin . . . a shame really.
Long Profile Warning
For those short of time or attention span, a summary :-
Man ( 'nilla ); intelligent, occasionally amusing, creative, urbane not urban. N.B. Not to be confused with the capital of The Phillipines or a type of envelope.
Man ( kink ); ' whip wielding, knot tying, unyielding, giving/denying, crop rotating, hand spanking, mind games awaiting , something something -king '.
Sorry, I couldn't work out a rhyme there but King sounds about right . . .
or alternatively;
A Quark is not a sound made by a particularly posh English duck.
It is, however, a type of low-fat curd cheese. Were these the quarks that Joyce referred to for Muster Mark in Finnegans Wake ? I don't know.
But I do know that the word inspired a scientist to name the components of elementry physics particles ' quarks ' . Equally perverse or astounding, depending on where you stand, said ' quarks ' are given flavours; of which there are six :- Top, Up, Down, Charm, Strange, Bottom and Strawberry.
So now you know more about quarks than about me and quarks are not even proven to exist except for caculations that depend on them being there. Well that's how it is I am afraid.
I also like bits and bobs, and stuff and things . . . . . but mostly bits and stuff.
 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
For those of you ( Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel . . . et cetera ) short of anything else, it matters not, I wrote this one for you.
The Profile - in full
So, it is high time I filled this space with other than a ' come back soon/re-furb ' message which was brought to you in the same way as most construction is these days, through PPP or PPI - in this case Premeditated Prevaricating Procrastination or Potential Productivity Inertia !
However, having pretended to think long and hard and diligently to put in order of importance what I think you should know about me in a * ' kinknilla ' kind of way, I am just going to lay it down as it comes out. Well, that's the pre-amble ( if you enjoyed this pre-amble there is more pre-amble in the next paragraph ).
If you are still reading then that's positive because it sounds like you are a dynamic person, able to spot something good and prepared to put the effort in to get it. You may well be just the type of person I am looking for ! If you are still reading this because you have nothing better to do and the above has thus far bored you into accepting anything you are presented with so you just plod on in resignation, excellent ! You may well be just the type of person I am looking for !
Let's get down to the meat of the matter then.
If we are going to bandy labels around, I am a caring Top/Dom, note slash not dash, no, not Slash . . . do keep up at the back will you ? Also I use the word Dom in conjunction with Top lest I am misconstrued as being some sort of garment - a tee-shirt or a jumper. A cardigan, perhaps ? Do not touch those buttons ( ! ), I am not an item of knitwear, you nit . Woe betide anyone to make that mistake ( in a feint echo of an old, adapted, advertising slogan " Have you got that Ms. Bingley ? " ). See how kind I am to all you pre-amble fans ? I even add a hint of digression into the mix. You lucky, lucky people !
I have an interest in a lot of aspects of kink so I won't mention them here but look to explore them with those who I meet here. Feel free to get in touch . . .
- if you have ever wanted to find a sombrero designed lemon-juice squeezer, with optional Mexican underneath. Surely there must be one out there if this exists . . . http://www.amazon.co.uk/Alessi-Mandarin-Lemon-Sq...
- if you have a broad sense of humour from dry sophistication to bawdy Carry-On and maybe a penchant for slapstick ( after all, slaps and sticks are not a million miles away from BDSM ! ).
- if you spotted an agricultural reference in the short summary above and smiled wryly. Actually, any sort of smile or a groan even. Just an acknowledgement of some sort, for knowing that someone in this world feels as absurd as me, is a start ! Apologies to Paul Weller !
- if you like to spend time wandering around a gallery or museum every so often. Seeing bands, going to the theatre and cinema. Cool, I am not terribly cultured and I would welcome a guiding hand. I would also like someone to attend these venues with.
- " If you can fill the unforgiving minute / With sixty seconds' worth of distance run / Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it / And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son! "
Of course, in this case, I am hoping you will neither be a man nor, in fact, my son ( these are not necessarily mutually inclusive concepts these days ), but he does write exceedingly good poems.
- if you enjoy using square brackets.
- if you have often thought it would be great to have a friend called Eric from Clapton, a friend called Paul from Merton, a friend called Phil from Tufnell Park and so on and so forth ( I'll add others as I see fit ! ).
- if you are interested in languages and the derivations of words in English and it's dialects. To then make the extrapolation, without fear of being wrong, from the suggestion that Scousers get their nickname from a particular type of dish called Labskaus, from northern Germany, and that because of the resultant crossover culture that that is the reason that some Liverpudlians pronounce words beginning with ' s ' as a ' sh ' sound as in the German ' sch 'or ' schp . . .' or even the hard Scouse k equal to the German ' ch ' .
- if you are Malcom McDowell, it would be cool just to go for a beer and shoot the breeze . . . unless, perhaps, there is anything else you would rather shoot instead ?
- if you would like to be serenaded, by me on guitar, while tied up, as I play ( and sing ) Bernard Cribbens' classic ' Right, said Fred ' . . . although that will depend on how naughty you have been. I am not yet sure if that is a reward or a punishment.
- if you missed this by Arthur Conan Doyle
"Vorsicht der Gummi Löffel ! What can that possibly mean ? " Watson's face was contorted in puzzlement as he studied the note . Holmes stared out across the park and muttered to himself " So, he's back again. Stirring up more trouble. "
from 'Sherlock Holmes and the strange case of The Rubber Spoon'
- if you have an eclectic taste in music but prefer indie, rock and metal rather than most of the boy/girl band, Ex - Idol, disposable pop.
- if you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVdhZwK7cS8 well, anyway, I think the song says it all . . . erm, in a very 70's cheesy cabaret style. It doesn't represent much about me but I like the line and I'm not ashamed to admit I pinched it ! It is a lovely and romantic song, STOP LAUGHING, NOW ! It will be our wedding song. You think I am joking, huh ? Well just you wait and see August, this year, who is laughing and who was telling the truth ! ( If you have read thus far, you should already have your tongue firmly in your cheek. The above should not have alarmed you ! ) Just make sure you keep the 17th free, everything is in place. It's a Tuesday.
- if you think To Catch 22 Mocking Birds is one of the best two books you have ever read and then re-read.
- if you think Randy Vanwarmer is :- (a) a real name (b) a false name (c) in either case a great name for a pop star from the late 70's (d) you don't care either way (e) you have no idea of what I am going on about.
- If you have left in the rain without closing the door.
- if you have been choosy about what you have taken seriously from the above and realise that this [profile malarkey] is an impossible task to convey who and what I am, since there will be contradictions and convolutions of what is written here.
* Kinknilla / Kinkilla - ( possibly ) A new word I am road-testing, a pleasing mix of kinky and vanilla, it was better than ' vanky ', you may decide to disagree. However, I defy you to slip ' vanky ' into a sentence, describing yourself, to a roar of approval as opposed to an invitation to see your GP.
This profile was last updated on 25 Feb 10, 11:26 AM
(Please read the cautions on
About Personal Ads before responding to
an advert. In particular, "Flat 51, 17 Holywell Hill, St Albans,
AL1 1DT" is a mailbox address used by a persistent
scam artist.)
|
Donate!
