Pardon the idiot grin.

IC Name: Ian_2007 Joined: 7 Jul 2007 Last visit: 338 days ago Sex/gender: Male Location: Biggleswade, UK Age: 53

I really hate "shopping lists" and checklists, even though I've filled out the one here. The list of things I've checked is just a guide - I don't insist on all of them with everyone, and it's probably not exclusive. A checklist is a starting point for a chat, not a definition of a person.

And yes, the emtional side is important to me - I'm not after play, but something deeper and with luck, long-lived. It's difficult to describe the emotional side succinctly, but one word that is important is "trust" - perhaps at its most piquant when a sub's constant first instinct is to turn to her master for guidance - be it practical, emotional or spiritual. The physical stuff is also important, mostly fetishistic for me.

Like Mr D'Arcy, I'm a gentleman of independent means, so when I check "24/7" below, then there is the potential for that to become literally true.

Slightly more about me as a person, added after a short while here:

I have a life outside of D/s. It includes Bach and Tolstoy, to name but two. Indeed, for me D/s is just one facet of a full relationship, albeit an important one. I'm the kind of person who would choose good vanilla over bad D/s, and a spell of celibacy over bad sex. Like every other aspect of a relationship, it should develop naturally over time. All the more so, since it requires more trust than anything else except opening a joint bank account!

In real life, I'm also an authoritative person. Not pushy, not driven to dominate everyone in sight. Just authoritative!

I'm also a natural contrarian. Until I started nosing around on IC, I'd always thought that was an essential requirement for a dominant (shouldn't the herd come to the leader, not the other way around?), but it appears not! Anyway, that may explain my dislike of defining myself in terms of checklists

A common conversation here on IC seems to go "Tell me what you like" - "After you" - "No, you first, I insist!" I appreciate that there are good reasons a sub might want a prospective dom to open up first; but you should appreciate that there are equally good reasons why he might want you to go first!

So, ask me my favourite cuisine and I'll say "French" or "Italian" - I won't launch into the spurious detail of one of those ghastly M&S food ads. And as with cuisine, so with BDSM. Don't expect me to launch into a spurious detailed description of exactly what I propose to do to a total stranger - I don't do anything to strangers! Just as one's choice of restaurant, or exhibition, or concert changes with different partners, so surely should one's choice of fetish. Once we have established that we have some prospect of a viable relationship, then we can start discussing what t's you want crossed and what i's I like dotted. After all, any relationship vanilla or D/s, is a constant negotiation. Hopefully lifelong....

So if you like your gratification deep rather than instant, please do write!

The alert reader will have noticed that Biggleswade is nowhere near the North London postal area. Well, it's nowhere near its postcode town of Stevenage either, but apparently I now have to put something in my postcode in order to show up in searches. Hey ho... it's not like there aren't easy ways for a website to let people search by location

Hair colour: Brown   Height: 6ft 1in  

This profile was last updated on 23 Mar 11, 7:55 AM.

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