Because it's all about me, innit.

Please Note: D and I moved it up a notch. Aye. I gave him my bloody passwords! If I type anything about shoes being horrible or chocolate tasting like shit - realistically it's probably him.

Not so new any more. In fact, maybe slightly deliciously tarnished.

Just here to browse really, and chat to people that wont run away screaming "burn the freak, burn the freak" if I so much as hint that I don't care to dress in gingham and couldn't give a shit about owning a tupperware collection.

Me: Short, boot-loving, chocolate-worshipping, blonde foodaholic that has horrendous taste in music.

My good points: I think I look pretty nifty in a 70s afro wig. With star shaped shades. Oh, and being a cheeky bint.

My bad points. None. I'm the reincarnation of Mary Poppins. Apart from being a cheeky bint.

Things I Like:

• The Guv. I'm rather partial to him.
• Chooooooocolate. Taste the chocolatie goodness. You know you want to.
• Rope. It's floatie-tastic. And pretty. And rubs in interesting places.
• Electricity. Hubba.
• Needles.
• Knives.
• Electricity. With needles. And knives. Phwoar.
• Leather. If you're made from leather then I'll apologise now. I'll most likely try to sniff you.
• Piercings. I think I'm getting to be a little bit spoilt in that department.

Things That Nark Me:

• My own drool. It's just ick.
• Sheilas's Wheels adverts. They might be pink. They might even sparkle a bit. But lordie, are the tunes bloody annoying.
• That bloody, bastard, sodding, evil, twisted, depraved, deadly, fiendish toothbrush.
• Mornings. Loathe them. With a passion. I'm not wired to be a "morning" person.

Partner and submissive to this rather fine gent. I'm his slut, his toy and his scrambled-egg maker extraordinaire. Forsaken1 said: Just because I'm a sadist, that doesn't mean I want to hurt you. I said: Absolutely nothing, I was too busy laughing. Cue much merriment and gentle "ribbing".

Culling in progress.... No offence meant.