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IC : Profiles : Crystal_Eyes
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Classy, non? |
Crystal_Eyes's pictures (18) (more)
| Weblog/group subscriptions The_Porn_Blog(350), Off_Topic_blog(190), Ultraviolence(62), Miss_Despotic(26), Hells_Bells(20), GirlAfraid(17), ThedaVamp(17), mia(14), Traumata(13), Ms_Tytania(12), Cinnamon_Tart(11), Miss_Hardy(9), crimsonsky(8), MsNemi(7), MarcusStrapp(6), spirifer(6), fuschia(4), Thought_Policeman(1) |
Interest tags (Bold for personal ad interests) being_sub |
| Profile: | Crystal_Eyes |
| Created on: | 31 Jul 2006 |
| Last visit: | 88 minutes ago |
| Country: | UK |
| Location: | Swansea |
| Sex/gender: | Female |
| Homepage: | http://catharticit... |
| Age: | 28 |
| Hair colour: | Red |
| Eye colour: | Green |
| Weight: | 15st 3lb |
| Height: | 5ft 7in |
| BMI: | 33.1 |
| Sex/gender seeking: | Male | | Ad title: | It's not perfect, but it's mine. :) |
| Ad updated: | 9 days ago |
| Mindless cunt seeks mindless cock for mindless intercourse.
Apply via the usual channels, preferably using txtspk and starting your application with 'kneel bitch'.
Ta. |
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Still here? Really, I was serious. Text-speak and random demands from strangers are what I live for. Ideally you'll simply ask me a bunch of inappropriate questions about my sex life, although I will also accept the odd memo begging me to enslave you, or watch you do all manner of bizarre stuff on webcam to prove your loyalty to me.
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Seriously, you're still here? Holy crap you're persistent. Ok fine... you wanted a self-indulgent 'oh this is me and I'm so great' profile, you've got one. I'm fabulous. You should definitely try to fuck me, preferably on our first date, citing that as the Dom you have a right to use me however you see fit, and that I should just put out and shut up (us girls just love that). You should memo me hourly, especially if I've not had the time to reply to your last memo, just to make sure that I've not lost interest in you during the 60 minutes since we last conversed. You should be emotionally unavailable, erratic, or unstable - I find this compliments my natural talent for tact and patience. You should definitely be over 50 - what's a 22 year age gap between friends?! Besides, I've lost all ability to have fun now that I'm out of my teens and just want to settle down and be looked after by someone who's old enough to be my father.
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If you've taken any of that seriously, please for the love of all that is holy, don't bother to memo me - I can tell you now that we're not so much 'incompatible' as 'born on entirely different planes of existence'. If you're smirking, smiling, or just generally curious about the person behind this random excuse for a profile, feel free to drop me a memo any time. Response probability is actually surprisingly high, particularly if you've managed to avoid pissing me off with the usual clichés. 
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In the mean-time, I am a self-confessed list-whore (and bullet-points are fucking COOL) so the following can serve as a bite-sized insight:
.Stuff the rocks my world - Literacy and decent grammar
- Music. Almost anything that isn't R&B
- Good food and good wine
- Dark and highly inappropriate humour
- Holding hands
- That Mitchell & Webb Look
- Dying my hair
- Texts, for no reason other than because I've been randomly thought of
- Falling in love
- Chris Morris
- Having my cheek/face touched, and having my head held to your chest
- Meteor Showers. In fact stars in general
- Being called 'girl' - there's something wonderfully reassuring about it
- Michael McIntyre
- Having my head stroked
- Skin on skin contact
- Thunderstorms
- Tim Minchin
- Kissing. Especially with my hair wrapped in your fist. Nom.
.Stuffs that make me wriggle in the most fantastic of ways - Degradation and humiliation (fucking HOT)
- Being outsmarted (delicious delicious mind-fucks)
- Rope
- Being afraid
- Blindfolds & sensory deprivation
- Occasional violence
- Prolonged episodes of hungry kissing
- To be allowed to need
- Complete mental & psychological Domination
- Being called all manner of filth during play/sex
- Your hand around my throat; I can space instantaneously
.Stuffs that makes me recoil in disgust - Being naked in front of someone (i'm working on it)
- Feeling stupid
- Onions. Especially on pizza (sweet Jesus why would you *do* that!?)
- Being lied to
- Orgasm denial; it makes me crabby, emotional, and completely disinterested in sex
- Ignorance from those with no desire to change this
- Waiting. I am the most impatient person known to man, ever, about absolutely everything
- Being ignored. Alongside being lied to, it's my only instant and automatic deal breaker
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Random thing that makes me laugh.
Crystal x This profile was last updated on 5 Dec 09, 6:43 PM
(Please read the cautions on
About Personal Ads before responding to
an advert. In particular, "Flat 51, 17 Holywell Hill, St Albans,
AL1 1DT" is a mailbox address used by a persistent
scam artist.)
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