An update: I leave my original posting, below, partly because my fundamental nature (core values ) have not changed and partly to show that that nevertheless things do change and we do evolve (and also in the hope that I may bore you into submission).

I have, by accident and immense good fortune, found myself adopted by a community of friends*. This has had many far reaching effects on me: (I am now into colons as well as brackets ). I had been looking for a “significant other” and that in the context of serial monogamy – this still remains my fundamental nature and inclination – but now find that the gregariousness of a true community (if this is starting to become tiresome for you, you may as well give up now, it doesn't get any better, but it does become a little lighter-hearted ...... eventually) breaks down boundaries and preconceived notions. This is not the place for an essay on the fundamentals of sexuality and morality (loud sighs of relief), but if you are interested in the subject I am happy to discuss it (or not).

In simple terms then (hurrah, they cried) I am available for play. For fun. For excitement. For thrills. I am able to claim a reasonable degree of competence in being a “dom” (I still dislike the term – see below) and therefore am someone able, within the limits of my scope (which are not narrow), to actualise fantasies in a realistic and safe way. I enjoy playing and, as is true for all of us, things which we enjoy, we become good at (avoids digression about the merits or otherwise of play versus “natural” dom-ing at this point and an assertion that, in the end, there is no conflict between the two). And I will now try to convince you that I can do “normal” and “chat” and “socialisation” (my psychiatrist says that if I keep taking the tablets no-one will be able to tell) It is easy (see I avoided saying facile) to write: “Hi, I adore women's bottoms and always have done. I cheat at cards (especially strip poker). I love good wine, red wine, white wine and (in extremis) not so good wine and (in desperation) any kind of wine. I don't smoke and think that people who do should have their hands chopped off (well, OK, be given a damned good spanking**). I am a coffee snob (apparently – just because I won't drink instant coffee) and believe that champagne is a universal cure for all ills (yes, really). I adore atrocious puns (the more strained the better) and am a dreadful (you may interpret that how you will) and (some would say) soppy romantic. I love good food and good conversation; I believe that a dirty mind is a source of endless entertainment and I would not prove an embarrassment at the Vicar's tea party / your mother's coffee morning.” Followed by and long and (even more boring) list of desiderata and / or images and associations which show what a thoroughly decent, cultured sort I am (avoiding poetry – everyone thinks it is pretentious) and how you would be mad not to write back, now immediately (look into my eyes, look into my eyes....)

What do I get a charge from? Success: getting inside a sub's head and playing with their desires and fantasies; using a moistened finger to stroke gently those parts which are core to their very being.... (no – the psyche, silly).

So in the end you have it: an old reprobate spanker who has learned that if you get inside her head first, you can probably also get inside her knickers (for further discussion on this topic refer to G.B. Shaw's: You Never Can Tell), who keeps a low profile and who may just have sufficient nous to make up for his deficiencies.

I would be delighted to hear from you and, somewhat superfluously, I think, can promise not to respond in txt spk

P. *specifically one in particular who has transformed my life **only if female, sorry I am strictly M/f

Original profile:

If you are reading this, it will either be because I have written to you and sufficiently piqued your interest for you to explore the potential in more detail, or because you have stumbled across me at random (get a life!). Women are the fishers in these seas, not men. It is men who flock to the bait, women can sit back and select from the ever hungry shoals. Ironic, that, given the nature of my selected sub-set of this web-site and the people drawn to it - an interesting reversal of the (coveted) power dynamic. Many are called but few are chosen!

I have had a D/s relationship before (I hate these tags, but it is a little like shorthand, it saves a lot of time to use them). I was born the way I am and knew it from a very young age (early pre-pubescence) though of course one doesn't know what it is about oneself, at that age, that makes one different. I have always been very self contained (an only child and a natural loner) happy with friends (low volume, high quality - almost a leitmotif of mine). I travel quite a lot (work).

I am separated. I live alone in London in my own house. I have two quasi-adult children (do one's children ever become adults?). I have a job that is demanding in time and effort. I am in my late forties but in good physical condition. I will send a photo on request and reciprocation.

About power exchange: I enjoy humiliating and degrading, but it is much more subtle than that. To have an intense dynamic, I think a bond (relationship) is required. In the same way that one cannot fall (or be brought down) without having somewhere to fall from, one cannot (I cannot) feel that intense edginess without it involving someone with whom I have some emotional attachment. There also has to be balance (can there be darkness without there being light?)

About abuse and humiliation: a thing of value is a thing to be cherished. Most men can understand this in terms of cars. If you owned a Ferrari, you would use it to the full, take pleasure from the ownership of it and what it brought to you, but you would also look after it, as a prized possession. You would cherish it. I cannot see the difference with D/s relationships (for information, I am not particularly interested in cars). Nuances can be every bit as powerful and sometimes more powerful than the explicitly overt. Submission is a gift.

I believe that one cannot aspire to be in control of someone else without first being in control of oneself. You get out of relationships what you put into them (having children taught me this – like many men, becoming a father was a seminal moment, a vital ingredient in my maturation)

Music: I am fond of classical music, though I hear much else (thanks mainly, but not entirely, to my children). I enjoy going to the theatre, but rarely do, as I have no partner with whom to share the experience. I am a rugby fan (but do not play any more).

Intellectually, I am interested in almost everything. I am the sort of person who watches Open University programmes for fun. If we stand any chance of being compatible, you will already have noticed my didactic streak and will, at worst, be amused by it (that is, not irritated by it)

Sorry for all the brackets, it is a habit of mine. I do it, in effect, (see, no brackets there!) in conversation by adding a digression or clarification in mid sentence. Language and communication are important to me and I think language can and should be used like a scalpel, not like a blunt axe.

That should give you a taste – I hope you felt that it was worthwhile reading

P.

Height: 5ft 10in   Weight: 11st 4lb   BMI: 22.5  

This profile was last updated on 29 May 10, 2:02 PM.

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