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IC : Profiles : CookieMonster
| Profile: | CookieMonster |
| Created on: | 17 Sep 2005 |
| Last visit: | 47 minutes ago |
| Country: | UK |
| Location: | South East. |
| Sex/gender: | Male |
| Age: | 42 |
| Hair colour: | blue |
| Eye colour: | cross |
| Weight: | 15st 8lb |
| Height: | 6ft 2in |
| BMI: | 27.8 |
| Sex/gender seeking: | Female | | Ad title: | Cassanova eat your heart out. |
| Ad updated: | 43 days ago |
Dear fans, stalkers, haters, weirdos, smoo, lost souls, psycopaths, admin and other flotsom and jetsum, welcome to my profile.
What to write about myself? Well what the fuck do you expect me to write about myself? That I'm a foul mouthed malcontent and one of the most contrarian fuckers your most likley to ever meet? Well thats a good start for a sub. Maybe I should tell you I'm tall, handsome, intelligent, well educated and kind to animals? Well I make sure they are dead before I eat them and here I dont discriminate, I'll take a bite out of anything with four legs and ive had a bite of the odd creature with 2 legs now and then.
Yea I am a sub looking for a Domme. WTF!!!!! I'm fucking hiding from most of them, after yanking their chains for so long i'll not be short of attention of the pitchfork and burning torch variety. No doubt there are a few civil and non-psycotic enough to be partner material. I mean I'm not that fussy, the most important requirement is that I can out run you, this for me is more valuble than any stupid safe word, oh and you need a sense of humour. Nope wait you need a fucking massive sense of humour, you need to be patient and understanding. Yea to most Dommes that means calculating and manipulative but most blokes cant tell the difference so take it for gospel that I'm equally clueless.
I'm a good cook, yea and that does include alibis and false ledgers. I have history, a lot of fucking history, in fact I wouldn't be suprised if some peace conference somewhere broke down due to the butterfly effect and something I had done or said.
I like to masterbate, I masterbate a lot. So if we are in the que for the checkout at Tesco and I fancy a quick one of the wrist you will have nothing to complain about. sometimes once ive jizzed or the sweet dispay I like to flop my knob on the conveyer belt to see if the semi-comatose checkout girl will try to beep it through. I am house trained, this doesn't mean I always go along with it so you had better make sure potplants can take some extra compost and check under your pillow before you go to sleep.
Bored yet? I fucking am, I fucking hate writing about myself, I struggle to include a covering letter with a CV that isn't a coded death threat which btw an honest CV would be a certificate of verification for the covering letter.
The uber domme would have to be pretty, pretty mad, pretty desperate and pretty vacant as well. Yea I'm shallow, I'm vain I take critisism badly. I'm obtuse, lazy, and dyslexic so dont expect me to proof read this profile. Come to think of it dont expect a real picture till I get one of you with your norks out.
I like loads of stuff, some illeagal true but some pretty mundane like books films etc. Are you still reading this? For fuck sake you must be bored, desperate or as mad as a fucking hatter. In fact I bet the first thing you would do if you pulled a bunny out of the hat would be to boil it.
I dont care if your a pro-domme, ammetur or a novice. But if your one of the Harpies that hang around the pro-mistress forum you'd better set up a sock puppet if you want me to take any interest in you. I admire this kind of deceitfullness, as Jabba the hut would say "You are my kind of scum".
The ideal Domme would also love a challenge and be a sucker for lost causes. Would be like a spider, ensnare me in her web, tie me up with her silk and have at least eight eyes to see what the hell I was up to.
Well this is my profile, maybe it tells you plenty or nothing at all. Not that I care if you dont like it you can fuck right off!
All the Beast.
Cookie.
xxxx
 This profile was last updated on 3 Feb 10, 9:16 AM
(Please read the cautions on
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