Currently Not Loving: The fact I just made the schoolboy error of burning both my upper and lower lips on piping hot pasta. Don't get me wrong, I'm well in favour of pain - but for ickle subby girlys, not me!

Quote Of The Day: ''The ****** I'm ****** *** * laptop.'' [Quotee withheld her name and certain incriminating details].

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I'm 45, 6ft, 178 pounds, 42-inch chest, 34-inch waist, and I work out daily.

I have [I'm informed by one sub friend] stony, ''I'm gonna fuck you, girl,'' features, and the same source also kindly advises I have eyes so apparently deep set ''a girl could drown in them.''

Over the years, it's also been suggested I have the look of anyone from Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet [according to a sub from years ago] to ''that dude outta Disturbia'' [source: an American fringe porn starlet - I've always moved in the sleaziest circles - friend of mine].

I'm reasonably intelligent, a Law graduate, and I work in London.

But I'm no stuffed shirt. I've got a right edge to me - no sub ever dumped me [sorry, ''asked to be released from service,'' or whatever the current pretentious BDSM ''scene'' jargon is] for being boring [for being a 24-carat bastard, yes, but never for being boring], that's for sure.

I've been into BDSM all my adult life and have been on and off the scene since circa 1990, starting out at Clubs like Der Putsch and Submission in the old Metropolis [aka London].

I'm a brutally sadistic [which btw does NOT mean I seek masochists or pain sluts - quite the reverse, in fact, I adore femme subs who hate it, but endure it as part of their submission] Dom [and Dacryphile]. Those femme subs who have got to know me well [multiple ''play'' sessions] unanimously concur.

Abusing and degrading pretty subby women I feel an emotional connection with, and reducing them to screams and tears, borne out of pain and abject humiliation, gets me right off. Simple as that.

I'm in a good place in my life right now - the vanilla side is sound and I have a select set of BDSM friends, a few of who I am very close to [they know who they are].

I do not - not to put too fine a point on it - work my bollocks off to stay in shape so I can hang out with ancient, spherically obese [as opposed to genuine BBW material - mmmm], birds who don't even bother to make the best of themselves and, instead of caking and trowelling on the sexy make-up, simply eat cake with a trowel.

However, attractive, younger, outgoing, pale to milky-pink skinned, curvy, lipstick femme subs with highly deviant minds and wicked senses of humour?

Well, that's another matter.

If I sound arrogant it's because I am. Very.

But, when I want to be, I can be one charming bastard.

But only to those I find charming.

Thank you for your interest.