 |
| mollie |
Sort by first post . mollie's profile
| 2 Nov 03 | Five twentyone!! | (2 Nov 03, 6:53 AM by mollie) |
| For that is the time. and if it was TFE yesterday what is this. [more...] | ||
| 1 Nov 03 | saturday morning TFE | (1 Nov 03, 3:27 PM by mollie) |
worried, anxious, stressed, cut out tongue put head in
bucket. I'm too stupid  [more...]
| ||
| 31 Oct 03 | :) tired but happy | (1 Nov 03, 9:02 AM by mollie) |
| Today I met Shadow Rose and Becky for lunch, the first time I have spoken with anyone outside my immediate tiny group of intimates about what is happening to me, and it felt good. Giles said that he wanted me to meet other people in the lifestyle so that I realised that I was still what I always had been but with a more interesting side, and that was how Shadow Rose seemed. Looking back I don't think I said much, I still have problems making the words come out of my mouth instead of my fingers, but that will doubtless improve. [more...] | ||
| 30 Oct 03 | Nicks | (30 Oct 03, 7:29 PM by mollie) |
| I have not been out very long and when I decided to do this I was very nervous, & so I said to Giles that I did not want a name that gave much away. [more...] | ||
| 30 Oct 03 | Thursday already | (30 Oct 03, 1:38 PM by mollie) |
| I have had an awkward few days, my daughter, my best friend, has been home from university. She is in the throes of new love and glows and smiles all the time. BUT she still worries about me, and she doesn't know what is going on though she is aware that something is and she knows that I talk to G about it, and has grilled him. He to his credit has told her that he cannot tell her anything as everything he knows has been told to him in confidence and that I might tell her someday but that I might never tell her. [more...] | ||
| 26 Oct 03 | (no title) | (26 Oct 03, 12:15 PM by mollie) |
| I feel that I am slowly inching forward, how I envy those of you with the confidence to to go faster than this. I some times feel such a wuss. In responding to e mails, help G, have I said too much, too little, am I doing the right thing. Lack of confidence seems to be characterising this journey, and on Friday it hit with a vengeance, in the middle of a perfectly rational conversation on irc. The person I was talking to tried deperately to buoy me up, but the dip was so sudden, it was like a tsunami, carrying all away in front of it. [more...] | ||
| 23 Oct 03 | Brave , courageous and bold | (23 Oct 03, 9:05 PM by mollie) |
| I was on an irc channel last evening when someone came on who is very open about the fact that she is into BDSM, she knows G through the channel and she is aware of my other friend. She was talking about the fact that my son is going to Spain to stay with G and pm'd me because she was concerned that I was worried as I was only giving short answers. I wasn't concerned at all I am thrilled but I did take the opportunity to tell her I too was into BDSM, and we spoke together for about an hour. [more...] | ||
| 22 Oct 03 | Life is just a roller coaster | (22 Oct 03, 5:14 PM by mollie) |
| One of the things I've noticed since i started looking into BDSM is how my moods seem to swing. I was in a fever of anxiety and distress, before I originally spoke to G, and agian before appraoching arc. Doing something which works out well leaves me feeling exhilerated and something that doesn't seem right or feel right or turn out right, leaves me feeling stupid and inadequate and wondering wtf someone of my age is doing changing their life anyway. Then a chat with G (who phoned from Spain yesterday) or a memo from one of the people on here who have been so kind sets me off on the up again. [more...] | ||
| 21 Oct 03 | a bit blue | (21 Oct 03, 5:05 PM by mollie) |
It's amazing isn't it the different ways people can
cause you pain and humiliate you..... a cutting glance,
a sharp word, a pointed comment. | ||
| 20 Oct 03 | Invisible | (20 Oct 03, 7:40 PM by mollie) |
| I don't know anyone here as anything other than a name but none of you are invisible. However much you try to hide behind the Harry Potter Cloaks you got free with your crunchy nuts, [more...] | ||
| 19 Oct 03 | speed | (19 Oct 03, 8:14 PM by mollie) |
| I feel as if I'm on a treadmill and that by accident it 's been set to sprint rather than walk. I shall be glad when G is back to help mend it. | ||
| 18 Oct 03 | ch ch ch ch changes | (18 Oct 03, 11:53 PM by mollie) |
| the movement has started, things will change. [more...] | ||
| 18 Oct 03 | Too little rather than too much information | (18 Oct 03, 3:22 PM by mollie) |
| don't know what to say really. This is something
that I have found erotic from a young age, but never put
any words to, and through a very religious and vanilla
marriage, it was my fantasy. [more...]
| ||
| 18 Oct 03 | I'm new around here............ | (18 Oct 03, 2:03 PM by mollie) |
| and i've left it a bit late, and now the earth is dipping under my feet, and I'm scared | ||
