Sort by first post . janiya's profile
| 8 Sep 08 | Bitch - moan - rant - whine (1) | (8 Sep 08, 4:31 PM by ShadowRose) |
| Take your pick! [more...] | ||
| 7 Sep 08 | Pondering (1) | (7 Sep 08, 12:11 PM by Utterbosstard) |
| Where there is beauty, there is ugliness. [more...] | ||
| 6 Sep 08 | How to delete a sex drive (3) | (6 Sep 08, 9:57 PM by janiya) |
| Does anyone have the answer? [more...] | ||
| 5 Sep 08 | Inappropriate perking? (2) | (5 Sep 08, 4:50 PM by janiya) |
| Yesterday it was the extendable baton and cuffs... today it was a gun. Should work be so interesting??? | ||
| 3 Sep 08 | Owned? | (3 Sep 08, 8:37 PM by janiya) |
| As daft as it may sound, last night I realised for the first time that I'm no longer 'owned' and I actually felt it. I've never considered T's collar to be mine, I always referred to it as 'his collar'. Since his death, it has stayed on my bedside table. In some way I don't feel that I have a 'right' to wear it anymore. What would the purpose of that be? I only wore it the once to his funeral. I have slept with it under my pillow even holding it in my hand but I can not bring myself to wear it anymore. [more...] | ||
| 31 Aug 08 | Friendship | (31 Aug 08, 11:37 PM by janiya) |
| The last eight months has been one hell of a learning curve for me. After experiencing the single most painful event that i could ever imagine in my life-time, i then had to think about continuing my life. This was a difficult concept for me to grasp and was even more difficult to put into action. My life had gone from 'confirmed wedding date, IVF process started and starting a new life in a new country' to loosing the love of my life in forty-eight hours. [more...] | ||
| 4 Aug 08 | Europride and stepping away | (4 Aug 08, 10:20 AM by janiya) |
| Despite living in Sweden, i have never explored Stockholm before. So when i found out that Europride was here this year, it seemed to be a good reason to go off and explore. I booked a hotel by mistake (bloody confusing websites!!) but it was a great find just outside of the centre. [more...] | ||
| 28 Mar 08 | You think you know me (1) | (28 Mar 08, 12:00 PM by Mrs_Smith) |
| I am your daughter... sister... niece... friend... a passing acquaintance. I shall never be a mother... a grandmother... but perhaps a partner once again. [more...] | ||
| 26 Mar 08 | So what happens next? | (26 Mar 08, 2:56 PM by janiya) |
| Life has been hectic, interesting and a little tiring recently. I am amazed how quickly time is passing me by. Three months this weekend since Thomas passed away... another three months would be our wedding day... [more...] | ||
| 16 Mar 08 | Plodding on | (16 Mar 08, 7:17 AM by janiya) |
| I have a fairly hectic week ahead of me - partly fun, partly irritating. [more...] | ||
| 13 Mar 08 | So unpretty... (2) | (13 Mar 08, 1:31 PM by cherubrequired) |
| Well, that's how i feel at the moment. Hair is in desperate need of a cut, but that will be sorted whilst I'm in the UK. Had to drag some old clothes out that i had stored away as i've put a few pounds back on. I know i'm comfort & boredom eating. Also i'm not going to the gym for the time being... Yes i know, i need a golly good kick-up the arse! [more...] | ||
| 12 Mar 08 | I'll remember | (12 Mar 08, 1:45 PM by janiya) |
| Madonna - I'll remember [more...] | ||
| 10 Mar 08 | The joys of learning (1) | (10 Mar 08, 10:43 PM by wildethyme) |
| Apparantly i have an essay to write on the usefulness of worms. Note... I detest the slimy little suckers! It is believed that the process of writing this essay with enable me to understand and appreciate the significance of these 'wonderful' creatures! | ||
| 9 Mar 08 | Watching... (1) | (9 Mar 08, 8:36 PM by just_iana) |
| someone you love die infront of you. [more...] | ||
| 9 Mar 08 | Regret | (9 Mar 08, 4:52 PM by janiya) |
| I only have one that really matters today. Thomas and i had started the the journey of assisted fertility here in Sweden, but we never got to realise our dream. I have wanted a child for many years... i have wanted to a 'mum'. The reality is, it's all getting a little bit late for me now. I could look at going alone, but my preferrence would be, to be in a loving stable relationship. That would now take several years to achieve. I don't want to give up on my dream, but sometimes i'm just too scared to dream... | ||
| 8 Mar 08 | Oh boy! (1) | (8 Mar 08, 12:06 PM by Jezzebelle) |
| What a funny day... and i don't mean ha ha! [more...] | ||
| 7 Mar 08 | I must like flying! | (7 Mar 08, 2:06 PM by janiya) |
| All i can say is at least it is only a 2hr flight! Well i'm back in the UK again in a week and a bit. Of course i pick a weekend where there is absolutely nothing going on munch/club wise! It's a shame that i only get four days off over Easter from school but it's better than nothing. [more...] | ||
| 6 Mar 08 | Unlocking my heart (1) | (6 Mar 08, 9:36 AM by Prunesquallor) |
| The moment i knew that Thomas was never going to wake up again, i locked my heart. You know those types of super-duper locks that bring down the cost of home insurance... 5 hinged bolted things or something. Locked! Nothing coming in but more importantly nothing coming out. All the feelings i had for Thomas i wanted to preserve in my heart... never wanting them to fade nor disappear. [more...] | ||
| 4 Mar 08 | Spring cleaning (1) | (4 Mar 08, 8:48 PM by Sweetiejar) |
| I expected to be in school all day today, but i got the afternoon off. Apparantly i had done rather well in my test (86%), so i start the new 'Akademiakurs' tomorrow. Also been told to plan to take my Diploma in Sept/Oct which is less than twelve months into the course. I can only do my best so we'll have to wait and see how things go in the meantime. I wish i could tell Thomas how i have done - that upsets me. [more...] | ||
| 1 Mar 08 | Opportunities (1) | (1 Mar 08, 4:29 PM by wildethyme) |
| Life seems to be opening up to me a little more now. I had an email from school asking me if i would be interested in studying three days a week and having 'practical' two days a week. I'm not too sure what the practical entails, but i have a meeting on Monday morning to find out. I haven't had the results from my test yet, but i'm guessing that i did quite well otherwise they wouldn't be talking about me going out of the school for this practical. [more...] | ||