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| alexandraa |
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| 13 May 06 | Prejudice (8) | (14 May 06, 9:17 PM by Prunesquallor) |
| I grew up exposed to prejudice. White, female, blonde, blue eyed, not pig ugly, middle class, private education, what prejudice might I have come across day in and day out and had to learn to live with? I think most of us grow up exposed to prejudice but we learn to adapt, to become part of the crowd, to adopt herd mentality. We yearn to be accepted to find our group of peers to feel at home and comfortable with. Most of us will adapt till we fit. Few will stand up and say well fuck you, this is me, accept it or go to hell. [more...] | ||
| 14 May 06 | Pain, Fear and Pain and Fear (2) | (14 May 06, 12:05 PM by Elvenkind) |
| What brings the thrills? Is it the fear or the pain, or the fear of the pain, or the fear of the desire for the pain. While my desire for pain can ebb and flow, I never get comfortable with pain. I want it, indeed need it, it is so completely interwoven with my sexual satisfaction that even before I came into a Ds/SM relationship, I knew pain gave me that extra push to sexual fulfilment. [more...] | ||
| 10 May 06 | Ice Cream (4) | (12 May 06, 5:01 PM by Prunesquallor) |
| Now there's a funny thing. I just got a taste for Ribena cordial poured over vanilla ice cream. Right on my tongue, Ribena. Where did that come from? I can assure you that wasn't exactly what I currently had in mind for my tongue. It just suddenly popped out of the blue, Ribena and ice cream. [more...] | ||
| 9 May 06 | Ahhhhhhhhh That Hurts So Good (3) | (9 May 06, 10:26 PM by lucky_1) |
| I decided to treat myself to a massage tonight. Special offers abound and after a couple of days humming and harring about whether it was a consensual act to force my lash marked back under someone's professional touch, I finally thought bollocks, I'm going for one. Bit of a stiff shoulder from Friday's exertions too, so hey I thought, here I come, an hour of cut price rest and relaxation under the administrations of a svelte Swedish masseur. Yeah!! [more...] | ||
| 18 Mar 06 | Submission and Progress (4) | (9 May 06, 7:27 PM by Lord_Overload) |
| When I first met Colbeh, many, many moons ago, I wanted “it all”. I was on my little fantasy fulfilment trip. I had this image of what I thought a submissive/masochist woman was, and a desire of what I wanted from a Dominant/sadist. A full blown let's play Master and slave game, all set up and ready to go. [more...] | ||
| 8 May 06 | Lolling About In London (4) | (9 May 06, 12:01 PM by Smartarse) |
| A fairly quiet weekend. Saturday I creaked and stumbled around the house like an arthritic robot. Stiff as a board, fluid and graceful were not appropriate adjectives to my actions that day. Mind you I managed to loosen up enough by tonight for essential services to mankind. But Saturday, the slightest movement reminded me of every whip/flogger/crop/cat stroke. Shame huh? Yum yum. Nothing like a good beating. I did have to go to bed again in the afternoon for a recovery nap. Shhh don't tell anyone. [more...] | ||
| 7 May 06 | And Then Came The Dungeon (1) | (7 May 06, 11:22 PM by lucky_1) |
| The session (see previous blog) with Alex ended and he moved on to set up the dungeon with a more intimate ambience for our private use. Suddenly this large practical room turned into a den of iniquity. Flickering lights, music, atmosphere, it was all there. He helpfully showed us the other weapons of submissive destruction he had, obligingly pointing out the viciousness of a particular cat/flogger type instrument. For those of morbid curiosity you can see this obscenely vile piece on his web site -click here. [more...] | ||
| 6 May 06 | A Complete Whipping (6) | (6 May 06, 5:09 PM by Da_Pix) |
| Well finally Friday Whip Day had arrived. An afternoon with Colbeh for whip tuition under Alex Jacobs. [more...] | ||
| 2 May 06 | Silly School Girls (8) | (3 May 06, 11:52 PM by Prunesquallor) |
| I had a lovely day yesterday. A kind of silly school girl day. No, no before you start tugging your trouser snakes, not that kind of “nudge, nudge, wink, wink get the uniform and cane out” school girl, more a girly day of nonsense. Met a friend and we did the posh bit of London. Swept, scorned and smirked like professionals. Professional window shoppers that is. [more...] | ||
| 3 May 06 | Back Into Line (2) | (3 May 06, 9:45 PM by alexandraa) |
| It's such a huge rush. That moment where power exchange is clarified. He slips it in here and there. A word, a gesture, a raised eyebrow and I feel admonished, protected, scared and cared for, all at once. Both secure and apprehensive. It seems like a conflict and yet it feels so right. [more...] | ||
| 1 May 06 | Everything You dream Of (2) | (2 May 06, 8:46 PM by Da_Pix) |
| Three whole days, then voom they're gone. Whip day coming up on Friday too hehehe. That's the rest of my birthday present from himself. What did you get for your birthday? Oh a couple of hours in a dungeon and a good whipping, some very expensive smellies too. Good job he got me something else hey? I mean what do you tell the vanillas? He got me a good time? [more...] | ||
| 27 Apr 06 | Dominance and Mentoring (2) | (27 Apr 06, 10:22 PM by alexandraa) |
| I was chatting with my boss today about our staff. Talking about who we think has potential and how we'd like to develop them. The boss sees mentoring as the answer to many aspects of personal development. Made me think how very Ds it all is really. I think many of the qualities of good leadership and staff management hold the same traits as Dominance. Out of the blue he asked me who had mentored me. With barely pause for thought, “Colbeh,” I said. [more...] | ||
| 14 Apr 06 | Not Normal, Not Nice & Not Natural (7) | (25 Apr 06, 10:47 PM by anchovy) |
| And not like me to have a rant or a moan or play the victim BUT!!!! There is one exception. Fish!!! Puhleaaaaseeeeeeeeeeeeee. [more...] | ||
| 25 Apr 06 | Over Excited (5) | (25 Apr 06, 4:45 PM by alexandraa) |
| “She's over excited”, was always my mother's explanation of my sisters and I being nauseous or vomiting when we were young. No 24 hour bug, no food poisoning, no flu, no infection, no upset stomach for any other reason than being "over excited". [more...] | ||
| 24 Apr 06 | Wrapped In Pain (6) | (25 Apr 06, 3:35 PM by Da_Pix) |
| You can never tell, when he walks through that door, what's on his mind. You can never predict from his face, or his smile, or his stance, if he's going to be sweet and gentle, sadistic and cruel, teasing and tormenting, laughing or serious, harsh, strict, callous, unforgiving, merciless, or even just quietly controlling and loving. You never know how far or what direction. Or indeed what combination. [more...] | ||
| 20 Apr 06 | Mentally Deranged Singing (5) | (25 Apr 06, 7:52 AM by colbeh) |
| I think I'm mentally deranged. I've been noticing for a long time now something bizarre happens when I'm immersed in water. Shower or bath. It's very odd. And now I've started thinking about it I realise it is in fact a long established habit, I can remember doing it at quite a young age. [more...] | ||
| 21 Apr 06 | Whip Crack Away (9) | (21 Apr 06, 10:28 PM by caprycorn) |
| It arrived today. How's that for timing? Brilliant. Beautiful piece of kit, begs to be stroked, caressed and of course cracked. Four feet of shot loaded red kangaroo leather viciousness. So what does it feel like? [more...] | ||
| 19 Apr 06 | The Push and The Pull (1) | (19 Apr 06, 8:43 PM by Elvenkind) |
| His control over me. Why do I crave that? Sometimes it makes me angry, makes me cross as a trapped wasp. But what can you do? I chose this. I want it, desire it and need it. For fuck's sake, I beg for it. Why would I fight it. It's humiliating. It's fabulous. It's infuriating. Sometimes it can be such a complex push and pull. Sometimes I need a reminder of whose control I've chosen. Sometimes I want to stamp and scream and shout. Then I want to throw myself at his feet, begging. [more...] | ||
| 16 Apr 06 | A Whip A Whip, A Whip A Whip A Whip!!! (7) | (18 Apr 06, 12:16 AM by voodookid37) |
| Do you detect a certain amount of excitement? It's on its way, on its way, on its way. A beautiful, beautiful whip. I can say that with certainty because I now possess a picture of it. Can't wait to get my paws on it. Or should I say feel it against my body? A bit of both no doubt. Well hopefully, if he lets me, (gives a sweet pleading submissive smile to Colbeh), it is after all his whip. Whip crack awayyyyyyyyy……. It's coming from over the sea and far away. The land of kangaroo leather, what else would you make a whip from after all? [more...] | ||
| 17 Apr 06 | Faking It (4) | (17 Apr 06, 6:11 PM by DewiCinci) |
| So what's the big deal? Really? Come on? Does it really matter if you fake it? It's about giving your partner pleasure too isn't it? Sometimes that can mean faking it. You've never said a little lie or two to massage your partner's ego, make them feel good and happy and proud? [more...] | ||
