I'm not, by nature – as those who know me will surely agree – a shallow, vain, selfish or egocentric man. Neither would I sell my Granny into Middle Eastern slavery just for a hint of boobage. Though to be fair Nanny does like hot weather and in a certain light does have a face that resembles a camel, complete with the ability to spit a cherry pip through three inches of concrete. [more...]

28 Sep 11

There are many thoughts that go through your head (33)

(20 Nov 11, 4:20 PM by Crystal_Eyes)

…when you regain consciousness at the foot of stairs. Why was I sleeping here? Why are my legs at such a jaunty angle above me? Why is my tongue three times its normal size and quite flappy? What's all this red stuff sticking my face to the carpet and why is my wife calling an ambulance? Why am I being told to stay awake? I really, really need to rest my eyes for a bit, just a little powernap, sweet sweet sleep. [more...]

11 Nov 11

I Have Decided to Go Pro (18)

(14 Nov 11, 7:42 PM by fluffy_welsh_angel)

It's time, I think, to give something back to the ladies of this world, to give all a chance to have a Dab o' Skyhook in their lives. Because you're worth it! [more...]

10 Nov 11

The Joy of Flogging (5)

(10 Nov 11, 11:20 PM by Grownup_Frankie)

There are, of course, many many reasons why a good flogging is so intensely pleasurable. Giving one I mean, not receiving – what do you take me for? Some sort of pervert? [more...]

9 Nov 11

Contradictions. (8)

(9 Nov 11, 10:48 AM by Ima_Kant)

"I worship you, your body, I want to put you on a pedestal". [more...]

5 Oct 11

Crunch (5)

(9 Oct 11, 4:46 PM by TheSilverFox)

"Ow OW! Did you hear that crunch?" [more...]

12 Sep 11

People like us don't ever change... (9)

(12 Sep 11, 10:56 PM by x_Lia_x)

...we only get old and rearrange. [more...]

9 Sep 11

"Hello Dragons" (6)

(10 Sep 11, 9:56 AM by NimueBanditQueen)

“Hello Greek looking pouty bloke whose scant remaining hair is scarily 'just' so; how is the overpriced stationary business going? You! Stupidly tall mardy Scottish bloke who owns those gyms… sorry, health clubs… with the really rotten graphics and signs that make anyone who is serious about health run a (very fast mile) in the other direction, thus revealing your true business acumen, and hello to the rest of you. I'm afraid I've not watched the show in years and don't know your names because you annoy the tits off me and I wouldn't trust you to market and run a free bar at Alcoholics Anonymous, [more...]

9 Apr 11

Why men can't multi-task (44)

(9 Aug 11, 5:34 PM by Electric_Bassman)

My theory – and who knows, probably even Science Fact – is this. Way back, when mankind lived in caves (and this is still relevant in certain areas of Barnsley) the job of the male was purely to hunt. To leave the warm, stony embrace of the family dwelling and go seeking food, to stalk and bring down the woolly mammoth, the brontosaurus* then take it home to provide for his family. The woman however, had many tasks to perform; looking after the elderly, the young, the sick, preparing the food, the clothes, keeping the cave clean, keeping up with the gossip on the Stegs from down the posh end of [more...]

10 Jun 11

If I were a Bond Villain... (19)

(11 Jun 11, 3:06 PM by Monkey_Wench)

“Dear United Nations, [more...]

5 May 11

W.W.J.D? (13)

(21 May 11, 3:24 AM by missPowers)

“I'm going to make everyone of your floozies a bracelet” said Mrs S tonight. “It'll have W.W.J.D. in letter beads. Normally that would mean What Would Jesus Do? But in their case it'll mean What Would Jase Do?” [more...]

7 Mar 11

I'm gonna live forever... (21)

(11 Mar 11, 4:45 PM by wonderer)

I'm not a trained medical man, though I have been known to don scrubs and a stethoscope... but you don't need to know the grisly and slightly sordid details. [more...]

23 Feb 11

The Skyhook Guide to I.C. Dating (17)

(27 Feb 11, 6:20 PM by magpieuk)

You've surely heard the phrase “there is someone out there for everyone”. I don't doubt that for an instant, but it's not going to help if you work as a pit prop in Greater Eckmondthorpe and they are a scruttock winkler in the Seychelles. [more...]

29 Oct 10

Tell me... (7)

(24 Feb 11, 12:55 AM by Suitably_Twisted)

...a secret. [more...]

25 Mar 08

Taming the Boss (Part three) (4)

(22 Feb 11, 9:06 PM by FluffySub)

Part One [more...]

5 Feb 11

To my fantasy girl (10)

(6 Feb 11, 5:45 PM by Ima_Kant)

Do you even know it's you? That it's you I think of, return to in those quiet, daydreaming moments? When I'm driving, looking out the window at work, when my mind wonders to plans, schemes, fantasies –it's you, always you I imagine. Your body, your heat. [more...]

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