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This entry is part of the BDSM Dictionary hosted by Informed Consent.

This is the version from 16 Sep 06, 9:29 PM. The full history of this entry will show any more recent versions.

ICcode for "Taken In Hand"

A [b]Taken In Hand[/b] relationship is a [about=Informed consent]consensually[/about] male-led exclusive [about=Monogamy]monogamous[/about] relationship in which the man's control is real and for the purpose of creating a deeply connected, fully engaged relationship with a white-hot sexual connection. The term has been popularized by a UK Web site (see links below).

How the man expresses his leadership and control is an individual matter, but it is for the benefit of the relationship rather than being purely self-serving. The Taken In Hand man protects and cherishes the woman he leads. The Taken In Hand woman responds positively to her man's authority and leadership. It is not necessarily a [about=Domestic discipline]domestic discipline[/about] relationship, though it can be.

Taken In Hand couples often think of themselves as [about=vanilla]vanilla[/about] (though many may not know the word in this context!) and tend to be unfamiliar with or turned-off by [about=BDSM]BDSM[/about] or its literature, perhaps because of its exotic language, customs and rituals. Many Taken In Hand couples think of what they are doing as being very ordinary. However, as with other types of [about=power exchange]power exchange[/about] relationship, there are no typical reasons some prefer this kind of relationship, to another. Nor is there any assumption that this is morally superior to any other kind of relationship: it is simply a preference some have.

Taken In Hand is not about the woman being slavishly obedient or submissive by default. It is more likely to be about the man correcting and controlling her to the delight of both. In some [about=Domination and submission]D/s[/about] relationships, the woman might aspire to be more submissive, whereas in many a Taken In Hand relationship, the woman will have no such aspiration.

Taken In Hand can sound boringly conservative and conventional to anyone with a penchant for some of the more elaborate, painful, ritualistic, theatrical, humiliating [about=Sadomasochism]SM[/about] or D/s [about=kink]kink[/about]y practices, but it often seems hardcore, extreme, dangerous and scary to anyone who doesn't like the idea of the man's leadership being real instead of stylised or confined to set times and negotiated [about=scene]scene[/about]s.


[heading]Further Reading 



[item][url=http://www.takeninhand.com/node/60]Who created Taken In Hand?[/url]

[item][url=http://www.takeninhand.com/node/19]Background assumptions and premises[/url]

[item][url=http://www.takeninhand.com/node/224]Could a Taken In Hand relationship be for you?[/url]

[item][url=http://www.takeninhand.com/node/313]What Taken In Hand is, and what it is not[/url]

[item][url=http://www.takeninhand.com/node/193]Is Taken In Hand really consensual?[/url]


[heading]See Also


[item] [about=Power exchange]Power exchange[/about]

[item] [about=Master/slave]Master/slave[/about]





(This entry in the BDSM Dictionary incorporates text from the [url=http://www.londonfetishscene.com/wipi/index.php/Taken_In_Hand]Taken In Hand[/url] article in Wipipedia.)

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