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BDSM Dictionary : Taken In Hand: history
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This entry is part of the BDSM Dictionary hosted by Informed Consent.
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A Taken In Hand relationship is a consensually male-led exclusive monogamous relationship in which the man's control is real and for the purpose of creating a deeply connected, fully engaged relationship. The term has been popularized by a UK Web site (see links below).
How the man expresses his leadership and control is an individual matter, but it is for the benefit of the relationship rather than being purely self-serving. The Taken In Hand man protects and cherishes the woman he leads. The Taken In Hand woman responds positively to her man's authority and leadership. It is not necessarily a domestic discipline relationship, though it can be.
Taken In Hand couples often think of themselves as vanilla (though many may not know the word in this context!) and tend to be unfamiliar with or turned-off by BDSM or its literature, perhaps because of its exotic language, customs and rituals. Many Taken In Hand couples think of what they are doing as being very ordinary. However, as with other types of power exchange relationship, there are no typical reasons some prefer this kind of relationship, to another. Nor is there any assumption that this is morally superior to any other kind of relationship: it is simply a preference some have.
Taken In Hand is not about the woman being slavishly obedient or submissive by default. It is more likely to be about the man correcting and controlling her to the delight of both. In some D/s relationships, the woman might aspire to be more submissive, whereas in many a Taken In Hand relationship, the woman will have no such aspiration.
Taken In Hand can sound boringly conservative and conventional to anyone
with a penchant for some of the more elaborate, painful, ritualistic,
theatrical, humiliating SM or D/s
kinky practices, but it often seems hardcore,
extreme, dangerous and scary to anyone who doesn't like the idea of the
man's leadership being real instead of stylised or confined to set times
and negotiated scenes.Further Reading
(This entry in the BDSM Dictionary incorporates text from the Taken In Hand article in Wipipedia.)
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