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This entry is part of the BDSM Dictionary hosted by Informed Consent.
This is the version from 3 Apr 07, 3:28 AM. The full history of this entry will show any more recent versions.
ICcode for "Power exchange"

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[heading]Power Exchange vs. TPE 

Power Exchange exists when a [about=submissive]submissive[/about] willingly gives responsibility of certain aspects of their [about=lifestyle]lifestyle[/about] to a [about=Dominant]Dominant[/about]. In its most basic level, this would pertain specifically to [about=scenes]scenes[/about] and [about=S/m]S/m[/about] activities specifically designed to express this power exchange to each other. Its highest level is generally referred to as [about=Total Power Exchange]Total Power Exchange[/about], or [about=TPE]TPE[/about]. In this case, and subject to the interpretation of each partner, all or most responsibilities and decisions within predefined and [about=negotiated]negotiated[/about] [about=limits]limits[/about] are given from the submissive to the Dominant. TPE takes place most often in a [about=Master]Master[/about]/[about=slave]slave[/about] relationship. 

In [about=BDSM]BDSM[/about], the term [b]Power Exchange[/b] is associated with a [about=submissive]submissive[/about] exchanging his/her authority to make decisions, whether just for a [about=scene]scene[/about] (Power Exchange), or for his/her entire life (TPE), for the [about=Dominant]Dominant[/about]'s agreement to take responsibility for his/her happiness and health.


[heading]Spontaneous Power Exchange 

One person may willingly and consciously hand over personal autonomy or the power dynamic may arise between the parties in the relationship as a spontaneous result of their interpersonal chemistry, in which case no conscious decision is made. This power can manifest in an endless variety of relationship dynamics. Some of the variations include:


[item] addressing another person as "Master" or "Mistress" for a ten-minute scene.

[item] a witnessed, formal [about=collaring]collaring[/about] with a lifelong agreement between the parties for the dominant to provide an ongoing presence in the submissive's life. See [about=TPE]TPE[/about].  Collared slaves have responsibilities and duties that vary from the moderate to extreme micro-management.

[item] an agreement of service that covers the duties and responsibilities of the submissive that may or may not include a long term commitment.   Some service relationships are understood to last only as long as the submissive maintains performance standards.


[heading]In Depth 

On a psychological level, much [about=BDSM]BDSM[/about] "[about=play]play[/about]" involves [about=power]power[/about] and [about=dominance]dominance[/about], in particular [b]power exchange[/b], with one person willingly handing over personal autonomy.  This can range from addressing another person as "[about=Master]Master[/about]" or "[about=Mistress]Mistress[/about]" for a ten-minute [about=scene]scene[/about], to a witnessed, formal [about=collaring]collaring[/about] with an agreement which governs the submissive's entire life.  The latter is often referred to as [about=TPE]TPE[/about] or [b]Total Power Exchange[/b] or [about=24/7]24/7[/about] or [about=24/7]24/7/365[/about].

In "[about=safe, sane and consensual]safe, sane and consensual[/about]" BDSM, [b]power exchange[/b] is always negotiated. Before play, the participants would discuss their physical and psychological limitations, establish [about=safeword]safeword[/about]s and work out what will happen. 

A [about=submissive (BDSM)]submissive[/about] is a person who submits or potentially submits to another.  Submissives can vary in how serious they take their position, training, and situation. Reasons for this include relief from responsibility, being the object of attention and affection, gaining a sense of security, showing off endurance or working through issues of shame.

A [about=dominant]dominant[/about] (abbreviation [about=dom]dom[/about]) is a person who exercises the power to take control of a person or situation through usage of some means (such as physical, mental, financial, etc.) on a regular basis; the abbreviation [about=dom]dom[/about] is also sometimes used as the gender specific term for a male dominant, while [about=domme]domme[/about] is exclusively used for female dominants. Reasons for this include demonstrating skill and power, having [about=ownership]ownership[/about] of another person, being the object of affection and devotion.

In most [b]power exchange[/b] as referred to in a BDSM scene, there are limitations on the power the dominant has over the submissive, such as [about=safeword]safeword[/about]s, time limits and/or explicitly negotiated understandings of what is allowed.

According to most practitioners, the power exchange should always be negotiated. Before play, the participants discuss their physical and psychological limitations, establish [about=safeword]safeword[/about]s (words that will signal the cessation of the scene), and work out what activities they will engage in. 

However, many reject extensive negotiation and eschew the use of safewords, preferring instead to accept heightened risk and facilitate a more "natural" interaction. The conflict between the need for risk and the need for limitations and safety is at the heart of the [about=Safe, sane and consensual]SSC[/about] and [about=RACK]RACK[/about] controversies.


[heading]Types of power exchange relationships 

;[about=Head of Household]Head of Household[/about] (HOH)
:Much like the 'traditional' marriage, this is a relationship that exists in many [about=vanilla]vanilla[/about] households (think of the phrase "who wears the trousers").  It is listed on this site because a HOH relationship is consciously [about=Informed consent]consensual[/about], where many vanilla situations just evolved or are imposed by one partner on the other.

;[about=Domestic Discipline]Domestic Discipline[/about] (DD)
:Domestic Discipline is based on the consensually agreed framework that one partner, most commonly the male, will adopt the role of overall 'leader' in a loving, committed, monogamous relationship, and the other will submit to that leadership.  The purpose of this is to lessen conflict and promote harmony, respect and closer 'connection' between partners.  Power exchange within a DD relationship is usually confined to certain mutually agreed areas in which both partners want to effect change and improvement and does not necessarily extend to the relationship as a whole.   Within those agreed areas, the leader or 'Head of Household/Relationship' (HOH/R) takes precedence and has 'final say', although there may be extensive discussion and negotiation between partners before that point is reached.  Where the HOH considers that his/her partner has broken their DD agreement, he may take the decision to punish using (most often) spanking and/or other 'traditional' form of discipline.  Mutual respect, consideration and communication are essential to a healthy DD relationship, but, while the framework of DD must be consensually agreed, individual punishments may occasionally be given without the specific consent of the 'disciplinee'.  This is known as 'non consensual consent'.

;[about=Taken In Hand]Taken In Hand[/about] (TIH)
:More narrowly-focused than most types, TIH is based on a male-led, heterosexual, monogamous relationship allowing for [about=consensual non-consent]consensual non-consent[/about] from the woman.

;[about=Daddy/lil girl]Daddy/lil girl[/about] or Daddy Dom
:A relationship dynamic where one partner takes a recognisably parental position with the other partner.  There is more often a noticeable age gap in this type of relationship than in others but it is not about age - the 'Daddy' can be younger than the 'lil girl'.  Confusingly, the "Daddy Dom" can be female but in most such heterosexual relationships, they refer to themselves with terms like Mummy/[about=boy]boy[/about].

;[about=D/s]Dominant/submissive[/about] (D/s)
:By some defintions, "all" power exchange relationships are dominant/submissive, except those where the parties normally [about=switch]switch[/about].  The narrower focus of the meaning of a D/s relationship, however, is of people who acknowledge to one another that one is in a dominant position over the other.

;[about=TPE]Total Power Exchange[/about] (TPE) or Absolute Power Exchange (APE)
:An extreme of power exchange, often used synonymously with Master/slave.  This term is more often used by those where the [about=Submissive#Noun]submissive[/about] owns property and can act in her own right but will follow all orders of the [about=dominant]dominant[/about].

;[about=Master/slave]Master/slave[/about] (M/s) or Owner/Property
:An extreme form of power exchange, where one partner considers themselves the property of the other, in all practicable meaning.  While it is talked about a great deal, it is actually quite rare because of the high level of time committment from the Master (owner) and the depth of dependence the slave (property) has to be prepared to accept.




(This entry in the BDSM Dictionary incorporates text from the [url=http://www.londonfetishscene.com/wipi/index.php/Power_exchange]Power exchange[/url] article in Wipipedia.)
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