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IC :
BDSM Dictionary : Negotiating in scene : history
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This entry is part of the BDSM Dictionary hosted
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Negotiating in scene
Negotiating in scene mixes negotiation with play, especially in a D/s context.
In physical play, negotiating in scene typically consists simply of slowly moving toward more intense forms of an activity, checking in continually to see if you are approaching limits.
In D/s, negotiation itself can be made into a scene. For example, a Dom can start out by giving the new sub a safeword, and then negotiate by interrogation. Often, the questions are ones where the mere fact of being able to ask such a question reinforces the power relationship.
<!-- OK, the rest of this is inchoate, if someone can give it form, great, otherwise I will eventually. Switchy 09:03, 21 June 2006 (BST) -->
Some sample questions for negotiating in scene:
- Tell me something that we can pretend is a punishment, but is actually a reward.
- I want you to name something that is within your limits, but which you don't really enjoy, and that I may use if I want to punish you within a scene.
- What's the most submissive/masochistic thing you've ever done?
- How would you feel about me giving you orders to do something when I'm not around? (For example) Is it within your limits if I left a message on your mobile phone ordering you to masturbate to orgasm? How about if I left a message telling you that you may not masturbate at all until you see me again?
See also
(This entry in the BDSM Dictionary incorporates text from the Negotiating in scene article in Wipipedia.)
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