IC : BDSM Dictionary : Negotiating in scene: history

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Negotiating in scene

Negotiating in scene mixes negotiation with play, especially in a D/s context.

In physical play, negotiating in scene typically consists simply of slowly moving toward more intense forms of an activity, checking in continually to see if you are approaching limits.

In D/s, negotiation itself can be made into a scene. For example, a Dom can start out by giving the new sub a safeword, and then negotiate by interrogation. Often, the questions are ones where the mere fact of being able to ask such a question reinforces the power relationship.

<!-- OK, the rest of this is inchoate, if someone can give it form, great, otherwise I will eventually. Switchy 09:03, 21 June 2006 (BST) --> Some sample questions for negotiating in scene:

• Tell me something that we can pretend is a punishment, but is actually a reward.
• I want you to name something that is within your limits, but which you don't really enjoy, and that I may use if I want to punish you within a scene.
• What's the most submissive/masochistic thing you've ever done?
• How would you feel about me giving you orders to do something when I'm not around? (For example) Is it within your limits if I left a message on your mobile phone ordering you to masturbate to orgasm? How about if I left a message telling you that you may not masturbate at all until you see me again?

• Interrogation
• Power
• Power exchange

(This entry in the BDSM Dictionary incorporates text from the Negotiating in scene article in Wipipedia.)

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