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BDSM Dictionary : Limits : ICcode
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This entry is part of the BDSM Dictionary hosted by Informed Consent.
This is the version from 26 Aug 09, 12:10 AM. The full history of this entry will show any more recent versions.
{{Wikipedia|limits_(BDSM)}}
In the [about=BDSM]BDSM[/about] world, [b]limits[/b] refer to activities
that a partner feels strongly about, and to which special attention must
be paid.
Before a BDSM [about=scene]scene[/about], it is common to perform a
[about=negotiation]negotiation[/about] to outline what will and will not
happen during the [about=play]play[/about] session. During this time,
all participants [about=Negotiation]outline[/about] what they desire and
what they will not tolerate. This is the time to discuss limits.
Both [about=Dominant]Dominant[/about]s and
[about=submissive]submissive[/about]s can (and perhaps should) express
limits. They can be spoken or written, and discussing them fully usually
results in an improved experience for all involved.
Popular variants include:
::[b]Hard Limit[/b] - something that must not be done. Violating a hard
limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a
relationship. Examples include "[about=scat]scat[/about] is a hard limit
for me" or "I have a back injury, so striking on the back is a hard
limit"
::[b]Soft Limit[/b] - something that someone will do only in special
circumstances or when highly aroused/prepared. Example - "I will only do
[about=anal sex]anal sex[/about] with a very experienced partner"
::[b]"Must" limit[/b] - something that a person will not do the scene
without. Examples include "lots of hair pulling is a must-limit for me"
or "If you're going to flog me, I'll need lots of
[about=aftercare]aftercare[/about]"
::[b]Time limit[/b] - an amount of time after which play ceases.
::[b]No Limits[/b] - the Dominant may do anything he/she cares to with
the submissive. This is usually a sign of an inexperienced player who
does not yet know what their limits are and can be very dangerous. In
reality, even the most hardened and experienced players have limits
(consider being thrown under a train, for fun). 'No limits' play is more
the stuff of porn and thriller movies than in actual, real-life BDSM
scenes. When in a long-term relationship with a known and fully-trusted
partner, it can be safe to rely on your knowledge of the partner to keep
to safe limits; this is also sometimes used as a term for TPE or
[about=Total Power Exchange]Total Power Exchange[/about].
[heading]References and further reading
[item] [about=Gloria G. Brame]Gloria G. Brame[/about], William D. Brame,
and Jon Jacobs. "Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual
Dominance and Submission." New York: Villard Books, 1993. ISBN 0-679-
40873-8.
[item] Philip Miller and Molly Devon, "Screw the Roses, Send Me the
Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism." Mystic Rose
Books, 1995. ISBN 0964596008.
[heading]See also
[item] [about=Negotiation]Negotiation[/about]
[item] [about=Safe]Safe[/about]
[item] [about=Total Power Exchange]Total Power Exchange[/about]
[item] [about=BDSM]BDSM[/about]
[heading]External links
[item] [url=http://www.Domsub.info]D/s Lifestyle resources.[/url]
[item] [url=http://www.domsubfriends.com/library/]DomSub friends
library[/url]
[item] [url=http://www.tes.org]The Eulenspiegel Society[/url]
[item]
[url=http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/BDSMinfo/limits.htm]Limits[/url]
[item]
[url=http://www.nlacolumbus.com/education/sm101/smbasic.html]SM101[/url]
(This entry in the BDSM Dictionary incorporates text from the
[url=http://www.londonfetishscene.com/wipi/index.php/Limits]Limits[/url]
article in Wipipedia.)
This entry is published under the terms of the GFDL. People with profiles on Informed Consent can improve this entry: see the BDSM Dictionary help page for details.
