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BDSM Dictionary : Limits: history
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This entry is part of the BDSM Dictionary hosted
by Informed Consent.
Limits
{{Wikipedia|limits_(BDSM)}}
In the BDSM world, limits refer to activities
that a partner feels strongly about, and to which special attention must
be paid.
Before a BDSM scene, it is common to perform a
negotiation to outline what will and will not
happen during the play session. During this time,
all participants outline what they desire and
what they will not tolerate. This is the time to discuss limits.
Both Dominants and
submissives can (and perhaps should) express
limits. They can be spoken or written, and discussing them fully usually
results in an improved experience for all involved.
Popular variants include:
::Hard Limit - something that must not be done. Violating a hard
limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a
relationship. Examples include "scat is a hard limit
for me" or "I have a back injury, so striking on the back is a hard
limit"
::Soft Limit - something that someone will do only in special
circumstances or when highly aroused/prepared. Example - "I will only do
anal sex with a very experienced partner"
::"Must" limit - something that a person will not do the scene
without. Examples include "lots of hair pulling is a must-limit for me"
or "If you're going to flog me, I'll need lots of
aftercare"
::Time limit - an amount of time after which play ceases.
::No Limits - the Dominant may do anything he/she cares to with
the submissive. This is usually a sign of an inexperienced player who
does not yet know what their limits are and can be very dangerous. In
reality, even the most hardened and experienced players have limits
(consider being thrown under a train, for fun). 'No limits' play is more
the stuff of porn and thriller movies than in actual, real-life BDSM
scenes. When in a long-term relationship with a known and fully-trusted
partner, it can be safe to rely on your knowledge of the partner to keep
to safe limits; this is also sometimes used as a term for TPE or
Total Power Exchange. References and further reading - Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame,
and Jon Jacobs. "Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual
Dominance and Submission." New York: Villard Books, 1993. ISBN 0-679-
40873-8.
- Philip Miller and Molly Devon, "Screw the Roses, Send Me the
Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism." Mystic Rose
Books, 1995. ISBN 0964596008.
See also External links
(This entry in the BDSM Dictionary incorporates text from the
Limits
article in Wipipedia.)
This entry is published under the terms of the
GFDL. People with profiles on
Informed Consent can improve
this entry: see the BDSM Dictionary
help page for details.
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