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BDSM Dictionary : How to make love to a car : history
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This entry is part of the BDSM Dictionary hosted
by Informed Consent.
How to make love to a car
(This entry in the BDSM Dictionary incorporates text from the
How
to make love to a car article in Wipipedia.)How to Make Love to a Car or Other Vehicle
This appears to be a relatively uncommon fetish,
but one which some men are interested in.
The techniques can be generalised to trucks, motorbikes, boats, or
construction vehicles .How do you make love to a car? A simple manual describing a
rare fetish.
Steps
1. The tailpipe isn't the only option! If it interests you get hold of a
silicon sleeve or some other masturbation
tool to make life easier on your tool. Typically a rubber, silicon or
similar sheath can also be used elsewhere, especially for men who have
been circumcised.
2. If you enjoy the body of a car, then licking, kissing, caressing and
the normal actions of foreplay work well.
3. Lying on bodywork, with practice can be enjoyable, hot or cold. Key
point is to get a feel for what might dent permanently.
Cut guys often get more out of humping when using some form of textured
sheath.
4. Manual gearsticks can be fun for those inclined to allow the car to
return the favour, just be sure of a smooth entry with a custom walnut,
carbon fibre or titanium gearknob. Jaguars with walnut knobs work well
for this.
5. Leather interiors on luxury vehicles work rather well for humping.
I've seen vanilla folks enjoy this as an alternative to lady palm and
her five fingers. Cleans easy too!
6. For hardcore car lovers (trucks too), oily diffs, engines and tyres
are an additional turn on. One guy enjoys being squashed this way,
another likes to taste the fluids.
Most fluids would be hazardous if swallowed in any quantity however.
7. Finally jacking up to jackoff is safest accomplished with ramps
rather than just jacks or axle stands. Especially if you and your 4
wheeled friend are "bouncers".
Big wheeled pickups are notorious for this.
8. Privacy is a must unless you're an
exhibitionist. Stick to a garage or
workshop where possible.
9. Mixing fetishes can work with cars when used with imagination and
care. Watersports is a common addition for
many men as are other variations.
Leather bondage can be fun too before, during or
after serving the car.
10. Roleplay involving the car is another spice. Needless to say solo
roleplay requires vivid imagination and the ability to suspend rational
thought temporarily.(Needless to say some would say permanently  )
Two or more involved tends to be easier. Big or luxurious vehicles can
be served, small sports cars dominated or switched around.
11. Roleplay may be a thing for some, but the
real thing for me and many is the variety of textures and smells
associated with a good looking car.
On top of all the other attributes that is. It's worth exploring new
aspects of your four-wheeled lover each time you have a session, as I
did today exploring her tyres during other activities.
12. I haven't mentioned fem/car action purely because being a man, I
don't have intimate knowledge of what would really work for a woman in
this game. Obviously there is the option of gearknob riding, attachments
to replace unsuitable gearknobs and I've seen a bumper rider (dildo
attached to towbar). However, like tailpipes are not the only choice for
men, I can't believe that penetration by the vehicle is the only choice
for women.
Tips
- Muck can be kinky, especially muddy 4x4's or rally cars. However
most folks into this don't like bird crap, tree sap and bug squash. Wash
these off first. Road salt, mud, dust are often not a problem and for
some adds something natural perhaps. Its a mood/taste thing.
- Obsession, never a good thing. If you can't related to a human
sexually, emotionally or otherwise AND you have this fetish (or any
other), you DO have an issue. It's up to you to address it however. A
good fetish can and should be a nice extra dimension to a normal
balanced life.
- If you anthropomorphasize your 4 wheeled lover, it's worth
remembering that its a fantasy. A fun, sexy fantasy, but a
emotional/sexual/mental construct. Despite my own enjoyment, a car isn't
actually a person.
- Other vehicles may be of interest, and similar methods work for
these too. Motorbikes, commercial trucks, construction vehicles and
motorboats spring to mind. Just don't climb in the water with the
latter-cold water and sex don't tend to work.
- It's not for most folks, even car enthusiasts. You'll know by now
if you found it interesting/horny or not. Some folks try it late in life
and enjoy it. Others can't wrap their head around it.
Warnings
- Racing the car-fucking his/her pipe from cold whilst running the
engine does work on 4 piped cars, but has hazards. You only ever muck
this up once! As Dekhyr Dragon states in his seminal work, "never fuck a
car hot! I did....once!.
- Lying on hot engines is an act requiring caution and knowledge of
what stays hottest longest. Know your car, before you try to get to know
her too well!
"Things You'll Need"
- Desire in the first place!!!!
- Vehicle you fancy
- Privacy and warm enough space
- Any sheaths that will help
- Appropriate ramps if needed
- Blankets,carpet,cushions for comfort depending on positions
- Imagination
FAQ
In response to recent publicity.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q:Why would you want to fuck a car?
A:Like any fetish, because I find it enjoyable. It's a simple, harmless
fetish that does have the added bonus of screwing around with the heads
of people who are "too" straight or vanilla for their own good. I get a
very sensual pleasure from the various surfaces, smells, tastes and
looks of a hot car. There's a thrill in the ride often, and there's
often a fair degree of imaginary roleplay at work.
Q:Do you talk to them before, during or after?
A:Occasionally, but it's partly humour and partly just a little
imagination. It's not particularly relevant.
Q:Is it illegal?
A:In private no. In public you are subject to normal indecency laws. You
are harming no-one nor any animals so legislation is unlikely.
Q:Ever cut yourself or burned yourself.
A:Once or twice. A little bit. You never do the same thing again though!
Q:In the Sun you state that tasting fluids is going too far, yet surely
fucking your car is going too far?
A:Tasting fluids is likely hazardous to ones health-thats going too far.
As is burning your cock on the pipe or engine. I doubt the world will
end because of another fetish, so no, screwing my car is my choice.
Q:What cars do it for you the most?
A:Want to be here all day? Well, a generic overview then. Sports cars,
modified cars-including many "chav" motors, rally slags, Jap drifters,
exotics, pickups and many luxery cars. Also the odd construction vehicle
works nicely (depends though!).
Q:You mention mucky cars in places...that's even odder isn't it?
A:Actually, it depends on the car or truck, and what muck your' on
about. It's the looks of the vehicle more-especially trucks etc.
However, licking mud etc isn't the thing at all. It's just how the
vehicles look when they are in quite a mucky sprayed with mud state.
Some women look good from a session of mudwrestling don't they? Most men
liking them, don't want to lick the mud off however.
Q:You also have done boats and a jetski...how!?
A:Well, many sportcruisers and similar are a turn on, as are jetskis and
motorbikes. The same tricks with humping bodywork, well, work here. A
marina *can* be quite as hot as an exotics showroom at times.
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