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BDSM Dictionary : Domination and submission : history
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This entry is part of the BDSM Dictionary hosted
by Informed Consent.
Domination and submission
Domination and Submission (also known as Dominance &
submission, D/s, D&s or Ds) is a set of
psychosexual behaviours, customs and rituals relating to the dominance
of one individual over another. It is considered part of the
BDSM group of paraphilias. Overview
D/s is often referred to as the "mental" side of
BDSM, as no physical contact is necessarily
required. D/s partners sometimes even conduct a relationship over
telephone or by email without ever even meeting, or knowing each other's
real names. In other cases it can be intensely physical, sometimes
blending into sadomasochism.
In D/s, one takes pleasure or erotic enjoyment out of either
dominating or being dominated. Those who take
the controlling position are commonly called Doms
(male) or Dommes (female), those who take the
controlled position are called subs or
submissives (male or female). Submissives
generally outnumber Dominants in the general population, with male subs
outnumbering Dommes by the widest margin, often three to one or more.
"Dominatrix" is a term usually reserved for a
female Professional dominant who
dominates others for pay. It should be noted that a Dominatrix is not a
prostitute, and no sexual services are provided.
There can be any number of partners in a D/s relationship, with one
Dominant sometimes having several subs, who may in turn dominate others.
Relationships with multiple Dominants and a single submissive are rarer
but still possible. The most common combination is a pair with a
Dominant and submissive, often in an ongoing committed relationship.
Romantic love is not necessarily a feature in D/s, but is common;
partners can be very much in love or have no romantic relationship at all.
It should be borne in mind that Domination & submission is about
an interaction between people. That someone chooses to
dominate someone in a personal relationship
does not necessarily imply that they are generally dominant in the rest
of their lives or, if they are, that it is noticeable. Likewise,
someone who is submissive in a
relationship will not necessarily be generally submissive. For some
submissives, it can take a great inner
strength to go against social pressure and allow the dominant partner to
make decisions on their life.
Variation in BDSM is extensive and activities take many forms, and may
include servitude, verbal abuse,
humiliation, consensual slavery and sexual
slavery, and may be combined with other forms of
BDSM in myriad combinations. Bootblacking is another form of D/s, where
one person polishes and lavishes attention on another's footwear as an
expression of submission. D/s participants often refer to their activity
as "play", with an individual play session called a
"scene".
Some D/s relationships are sexual, others completely chaste. Fantasy
role play can also be a part, with partners
taking classic dominant/submissive roles such as teacher/student, police
officer/suspect or parent/child. Animal Play,
where one partner takes the role of owner/caretaker and the other takes
the part of a pet or animal, is also considered D/s play. Some people
maintain a special room or area, called a
dungeon, which contains special equipment (E.g.
shackles, handcuffs,
whips, queening stool,
spanking bench, etc.) used for play
scenes. Or, they may visit a BDSM club that
maintains such facilities.
Consent is a vital element in all
psychological play, and consent can be granted in many ways. Some employ
a written form known as a "Dungeon negotiation form", for others a
simple verbal commitment is sufficient. Consent can be limited both in
duration and content. It's not unusual to grant consent only for an hour
or for a evening; such arrangements are often termed New Style as
opposed to more lengthy Old Style relationships. Some "contracts" can
get quite detailed, especially if a scene is to last a weekend or more.
Many submissives and slaves wear a collar to
denote their status and commitment. In lasting relationships, it can be
much like a wedding band, except that only the submissive partner wears one.Who brings up the idea of a D/s relationship
This section describes some not-very-scientific statistics from a 2001
poll in which 48 people responded.
Around half of all D/s relationships start out from single people
seeking a dominant/submissive relationship.
Of those who convert an existing marriage into a dominant/submissive
relationship, it is most often the wife who brings the idea to her
husband. (The great majority of married couples are maledom/femsub.)
Of those who convert an existing unmarried relationship into a
dominant/submissive relationship, it is usually the man who brings the
idea to his girlfriend.Master/slave
A more intense, invasive and potentially permanent condition is chosen
by a few people using a Master/slave
ownership model.
See Master/slave.Safety
Since D/s is not necessarily a physical activity, there is less physical
risk in such relationships. But both partners should be aware of one's
mental health at all times, and be wary of people who may take advantage
in a D/s relationship. Especially subs must be aware of Dom/mes who seek
to isolate you from others in the community or who seek money or title
to your property.
Dom/mes should also be concerned for their own mental health in addition
to that of the sub, the strain of increased responsibility and the curse
of "tops disease", a feeling of infallibility and omniscience.
One should also be concerned about unstable subs who can cause financial
or personal ruin with a trip to a lawyer or Police station.Compliance
One meaning to being a submissive is
about compliance. This may be the biggest difference between simply
living with someone who tends to take the lead and living with "a
Dominant" as his Sub or
Slave. We all comply with things, we all comply
with other people's demands (if in doubt about that, consider police
prosecutors, judges, jail, and the law) but only a
lifestyle sub/slave will be expected to always
obey their partner's commands.
Perfect compliance is never possible in natural life - even the armed
forces don't manage that in the relatively narrow spheres within which
they work. Compliance is an acceptance that even though something may
not make sense at the time, even though it may be inconvenient or
difficult, it is something that should be done simply because it is
asked / commanded / expected / required.
We all make internal decisions about what we will comply with, and what
we won't; this is normal, and almost certainly healthy, though the
grounds for such decisions is often unknown or irrational. When one
considers compliance issues like school homework, drinking age, road
speed limits, social or sexual customs, fidelity ... it is clear that
most people pick and choose, often upon little conscious moral or
ethical basis. Such choices are not the distinguishing marks of
dominance or submission: few people would consider a soldier to be
submissive just because he has a high level of compliance in his work.
Sometimes we comply with people out of the fear of doing otherwise
(e.g., the police), sometimes out of ingrained habit (e.g. parents -
though at some point this can dwindle), and sometimes from love (like
when your partner asks you to make a cuppa). We might also comply
because we want to (e.g., "let's go out tonight") but that has nothing
to do with subservience.
In a free country, compliance is not unique to a submissive. Compliance
to a Dominant partner's instructions is unique and is one thing that
defines a submissive.History
Dominance and submission almost certainly predate homo sapiens, and is
widely practiced among most species.
But this article is about D/s and usually connected with erotic
attitudes, which can be hard to document, especially in cultures where
one gender or another is presumed to be inherently dominant. It can be
sometimes hard to tell if one submits because it is pleasurable or for
more practical reasons, such as food and shelter.
Still, there are many writings from ancient times through modern times
that would clearly indicate a willingness to submit for purely romantic
reasons.
Geoffrey Chaucer (1342 - 1400) describes in his work "The Canterbury
Tales" a clearly D/s relationship with a female dominant in "The Wife of
Bath's Tale".
A somewhat later example is European courtly love, a medieval ideal
wherein a Knight served his courtly lady (ie, love service) with the
same obedience and loyalty which he owed to his liege lord. This act was
definitely submissive, and sometimes became fetishistic, with the Knight
performing acts of cross-dressing and
self-flagellation.
There are also accounts from the 17th and 18th century of prostitutes in
most major European cities that catered to male submissives, as well as
masochists. In a male dominated world, it was
all too easy for a submissive woman to find a strict male dominant, but
some women still found ways to leave husbands who were "too soft".
One of the most famous works related to this issue is Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's "Venus im Pelz" (Venus
in Furs, 1869), in which the protagonist Severin entreats a woman,
Wanda, to be her slave and offers to serve her and allow her to degrade
him. The book has elements of both social and physical submission, and
is the genesis of the term masochism coined by the 19th century
psychiatrist Krafft-Ebing.
The Rolling Stones song "Under my Thumb" (M. Jagger, 1966) is said to be
about a D/s relationship.Myths
Common myths about D/s- - Dominants are naturally cruel people
- submissives are naturally weak-willed "doormats"
- submissives are attempting to re-live childhood abuse
- Women who are into D/s are nymphomaniacs, or indiscriminate sex
partners
- D/s is usually a case of "role-reversal" with people who have much
power and responsibility in real life often preferring a submissive role.
There is little or no factual evidence to support any of these concepts;
submissives and Dominants come from every part of society and most
people into BDSM are quite selective about who they play with. if only
from the STD risk of promiscuity, this is not surprising, but in fact,
few D/s practicioners hop from bed to bed.
There is no evidence that people into D/s or BDSM have any greater
history of childhood abuse than the general populace.Literary Styles
It is popular, but by no means mandatory for persons in the BDSM world
to capitalise words and names that refer to Dominants, and not to
capitalise those that refer to submissives, hence the capitalisation of D/s.
This convention began on Internet chatrooms, to make it easier to
identify the orientation of the writer or the person being written about.
It is also popular for slaves and submissives to eschew personal
pronouns, instead referring to "this slave" or "Master Bob's girl". This
is seen as an attempt at modesty.
It is entirely optional, and many consider it an affectation.See also Notable authors (fiction and non-fiction) References and further reading - Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame
and Jon Jacobs. "Different Loving: An
Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission" Villard
Books, New York, 1993. ISBN 0-679-40873-8
- Jack Rinella "The Compleat Slave: Creating and Living an Erotic
Dominant/Submissive Lifestyle" Daedelus publishing Co, 2002 ISBN
1-881943-13-5
- Jack Rinella "The Master's Manual: A Handbook of Erotic Dominance"
Daedelus Publishing Co. 1994 ISBN 1-881943-03-8
- Guy Baldwin "SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic
Servitude--Principles, Skills and Tools" Daedelus Publishing Co. 2002
ISBN 1-881943-14-3
- Claudia Varrin "Art of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for
Women" Birch Lane Press (April 1, 1998) ISBN 1559724471
- Claudia Varrin "Erotic Surrender: The Sensual Joys of Female
Submission" Citadel Press (March 1, 2001) ISBN 0806521813
- Pat Califia "Sensuous Magic." New
York, Masquerade Books, 1993. ISBN 1-56333-131-4
- Philip Miller, Molly Devon, "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns:
The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism", Mystic Rose Books,
1995. ISBN 0964596008.
Films External links
(This entry in the BDSM Dictionary incorporates text from the
Domination
and submission article in Wipipedia.)
This entry is published under the terms of the
GFDL. People with profiles on
Informed Consent can improve
this entry: see the BDSM Dictionary
help page for details.
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